Dark Corner of the Common Room

"Hey! I didn't say I felt empathy for him. I just said I kind of understood a little bit, maybe," he said defensively. "He's still an arrogant prat. But uh, about that whole moving on thing- I'm not thinking that's the best idea. I mean, moving on to another relationship. ... I honestly don't think my libido can handle committment," he said bluntly, shrugging. "It was murder, I tell you- I thought I could handle her restrictions, but good lord, I couldn't even really kiss her- that much of a prude. And- well- you know- how I am," he said awkwardly. "I'm male. I'm pathetic. Scold me all you want, it doesn't change it. I am a sorry excuse for a man who really cannot go without rough sex and chocolate frogs. Yes, yes I am."

Pansy laughed. "Yeah, I know you, Sev. I know how you are. Just can't keep your pants on, can you?" She elbowed him jokingly, knowing though that it was true. If they hadn't known it before, they knew it now. Severus couldn't function under restrictions of a relationship, he wanted what he couldn't have, and what he had, he grew bored with or eventually was denied. Unfair, perhaps, but that was his life. Chocolate frogs and rough se- Wait. Severus, and George. George Weasley. She turned to him, narrowing her eyes at him harshly, but wondering if it was even worth yelling now since things were over with Lily anyway.

Severus smirked. "Hey, half the time it's more of a problem that other people keep trying to take them off!" he laughed, thinking of the many attempted Snape-rapes in the showers. "Good lord, woman. I'm not exactly pretty, but the girls- er, and boys- just keep on coming after me! I will never understand it."

"Speaking of the boys..." Pansy kept her eyes narrowed, staring right at him and forcing eye contact she knew he would probably try and escape soon. "Why is it that ones who already have girlfriends are not so very off-limits to you, Severus?" She spoke his last name in a way his mother might have after catching him with his hand in the cookie jar, but with quite a bit more venom, or so she hoped. Of course, she didn't know about Snaco, which might have caused her to rip his esophagus right out of his throat where he sat, but she knew about his escapade with George and what sort of state Ange had been in afterwards. Though she didn't exactly like Gryffindors, she felt for the girl's heartache and could only imagine if she was in such a terrible situation. Oh ignorance truly is bliss, and a life-saver if you're Sev.

Severus twitched at the way she said his name, and smiled guiltily. "Uh... I forgot? It slipped my mind? Alright- I'm not gonna lie- maybe I just don't give a shit. Hey, I figure, if they're not going to be loyal, the girl deserves better anyway, right? I'm doing them a favor, really," he said, not realizing quite what an asshole he sounds like, because Eowyn has already murdered his character, so why not make him even more of a dick, really.

Pansy shook her head irritably as he tried to smile at her. She realized that no matter what she said, Severus would be Severus. She couldn't change that. If dating Lily Freaking Evans couldn't change him... nothing could. She rolled her eyes at his almost twisted logic of doing the girls a favor and shrugged it off, leaning back against the wall again. "Whatever, Severus. I'm not going to lecture you." She pulled out her wand and flicked it in the direction of her dormitory, summoning two bottles of firebeer. "Here. I drink to promising not to visit your dormitory without warning, if you drink to..." she pondered a moment, realizing he couldn't promise to being good, or not hooking up with taken people, or much else, "to keeping as happy as you seem right now. I like happy Sev." She laughed, realizing just how quickly a mere two bottles would disappear with the two of them.

Severus breathed a sigh of relief that Pansy wasn't going to set him on fire or something, and kicked his feet up on the table as he popped open the firebeer. "I'll drink to that. So, what makes Sev happy? TO ALCOHOL! TO WOMEN! TO MEN! TO AWESOME NIGHTS WITH THE BEST DRINKING BUDDY IN THE WORLD! Well, would you look at that, haven't had a sip and I'm already loud and obnoxious."

"You ARE the best drinking buddy in the whole world! And I'd say that's a good sign, dear Severus, of a most excellent night in store for us." Pansy flicked the cork aside and took a long drink, lazily waving her wand again to bring a whole crate of bottles down to them. "Figured we'd need more than just these two. Knowing how we get." She laughed and tilted her bottle toward him before taking another long swallow.

Severus laughed and nodded in agreement, already halfway done with his firebeer. "Pansy Flower, it's been too damn long since we did this," he said with a wide grin. "So tell me-- how was the honeymoon?" he said with a wink.

Pansy smirked as she reached for a second bottle. "I thought you said you didn't like to picture your two best friends getting it on?" She laughed at his expression. "But really, it was divine. After we came back to Hogwarts, we had to go back to Paris again. You know, since we didn't see much of it the first time we were there..." She winked back at him as she took another long drink of firebeer, checking the label and grinning happily as she discovered it was Inferno.

Severus rolled his eyes. "Hey, I do care if my drinking buddy is at least happy with her marriage, and no marriage is happy if a man can't please," he said with a chortle, knowing full well Draco knows how to please a man, and probably women as well. "Ooh, Inferno. Sweet."

"Hm, well, no worries there." Pansy smiled fondly and took another drink, wondering why the bottle was empty. She grabbed a third. "Sev," she started, gesturing with her firebeer bottle. She froze, sat down the bottle, and blinked a few times. "Aw, well shit, I can't remember what I was going to say. It's been way too long since I've had these..." she glared at the Inferno label.

Severus grinned and nodded. "You know what else this two-man- er, one man and woman- party needs? CHOCOLATE FROGS. Accio!" A large crate lands between Sev and Pansy. "Dig in!"

Pansy eyed the chocolate frogs, unsure. Chocolate... she hadn't really eaten chocolate since... well... she didn't like to think about that if she could help it. She picked up a box and opened it, eyeing the frog inside. Unfortunately, she stared too long and didn't grab it, so the little froggie jumped out. "Aw, froggie, come back!" It quickly hopped across the table before escaping onto the floor.

Severus promptly jumped after the froggie and tackled it to the ground. "OH NO YOU DON'T MISTER FROGGIE OH NO YOU DON'T. RIBBIT RIBBIT COME BACK HERE FROGGIE!" He catches the frog and pops it right into Pansy's open mouth.

Pansy laughed as Sev launched himself after the frog, blinking in surprise as he practically forcefed it to her. She quickly ate the frog, despite finding that she didn't care so much for the taste anymore. She hoped she didn't make too much of a face as she ate it.

Severus is too happy and oblivious to notice. "PANSYYYY. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? I'M BOREDD."

Pansy resisted sticking out her tongue in an awkward disgusted way like this:

I would reply to this, but as I just found out some really pissing-me-off news, I cannot right now and will edit this post later. I HAVE SOME THINGS TO TAKE CARE OF FIRST.

HAHAHHAAHAHA THAT IS A HILARIOUS IMAGE.
REPLY NOW?

[I KNOW RIGHT?]

Pansy resisted sticking out her tongue in an awkward disgusted way like the image above. Chocolate, not so good anymore. She only made the face a little tiny bit. Just a little, because it's so funny and the chocolate in her mouth was so repulsive that it became necessary to make that face a little bit. She looked back at Sev, hoping he didn't notice again. "I don't know, Sev. I'm bored too, and I don't like being bored. I don't like it one bit. Say, where's Draco? I wouldn't be bored then. Of course, he's probably sleeping. He likes sleeping. He sleeps a lot. He's so cute while he's sleeping."

Severus rolled his eyes. "I've seen him sleeping. I don't see the cute," he said. "I do believe that Pansy Parkinson is whipped." Severus makes the whipping sounds and the hand movements like Collins in Rent.

"Whipped?" Pansy scrunched up her nose. "Hardly. Pansy Malfoy is simply completely undeniably in love, which is not whipped, because I do not make him sammiches or rub his feet, nor do I ever intend to. Draco, actually, is the whipped one. Why, I bet if I shouted for him right now, he'd come stumbling down half asleep asking what it is I called him for. Yup." She nodded rather decisively, still nodding as she tried to take a drink.

Severus laughed, knowing full well it was true. "True enough. That man is hopeless, when it comes to you. Not that I blame him. He's a lucky guy."

"He is rather hopeless. About time." She took a drink but nearly spat it out back into the bottle as she thought to say something else. "Not about time that he's hopeless. About time about the me part. About time that. Um. The marrying me thing. That part's the about time part." Pansy winced at the atrocious thought process, before laughing it off and draining the bottle in her hand. "I don't know how lucky he might be getting me, but I'm quite lucky to have him for my own." About time, she thought, laughing to herself.

Severus grinned. "That you are. Now that I'm over the whole you know NOT BEING INVITED thing, I'm so glad for you two. So much better than any other woman for him, really. I mean, I heard there were rumors about him and this Astoria chick that his parents wanted him to get with, and I flipped a bitch. THAT JUST AIN'T RIGHT."