The Hospital Wing: Private Ward

"You're not serious," he blurted out, having just heard about Jack about a few minutes ago, and a second later he realized the pun, and laughed quietly, so as not to wake Remus. "Yeah-- I'm Sirius, and apparently you have heard of me, and until about ten minutes ago I hadn't heard of you, but Remus had just mentioned you, I think, before he went back to sleep," he said, trying to remain as casual as possible while plotting the numerous ways in which he can incapacitate Jack before his date with Remus. He extends his hand to shake Jack's, and let me tell you, SIRIUS HAS A FIRM HANDSHAKE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. It is quite firm and the wrist attached to the hand in question is his tattooed wrist, yup.

Jack is still just grinning away. He feels Sirius' firm handshake and grips his hand in his own, giving a little squeeze of his own. He holds onto Sirius' hand longer than necessary, turning the wrist a little to check out the tattoos. "Love a man with firm hands," he comments, the barest hint of a wink creasing his eyelid before he's pulling smoothly away, moving towards Remus' side of the bed. He stands over his young Gryffindor, fingers brushing lightly over Remus' forehead as he sleeps. "How is he?"

Inner Sirius would like to know how you went on a date with Remus when you are so obviously dead, Jack. You just touched my Remus in front of me. IN. FRONT. OF. ME. That shit is not cool. NOT COOL, I SAY, SIR. Sirius quite visibly twitches when Jack touches Remus' forehead and his lips twist into a frown, as he protectively tightens his grip around Remus with the hand wrapped around Remus' arm, to keep him propped up against Sirius' shoulder. "He's fine, he's just tired. It was nothing, he's clumsy, got scratched outside near the forest. He'll be okay after some rest," he said, wondering if the quickest method to get Jack to go away is to be polite, or if he should just glower and threaten him until he leaves.

EOWYN IS FALLING ASLEEP SOON... yeah.

I have to leave soon too - after this post actually, but I can pick it up later.

"Silly," Jack tuts affectionately, his eyes taking in Remus' hurt arm with a concerned look. He brushes his hand over Remus' forehead again, smoothing the hair to the side and leaving the skin exposed so that he can lean down and place a gentle kiss on Remus' forehead as he sleeps. "Well, I'll stick around for a few minutes - maybe he'll wake up. Room for one more?" he says cheerfully, settling himself on the side of the bed without waiting for an answer and taking one of Remus' hands into his own.


[ok I'm off, if you can get a post in I'll reply this evening. love you xx]

I am trying to formulate a reply which would not result in a massive bloodfest.
It is not working.
This scene should not have happened before your date because there is nothing I can post that Jack would not have mentioned unless he is finding make up to cover BATTLE WOUNDS WHICH I WILL INFLICT.

[oh god Jack is a dead man isn't he ]

Jack is... completely, obliviously unconcerned right now.

Sirius Black wrote:[Question, wouldn't Jack have mentioned that he'd met Sirius to Remus, if we meet now? Whatever-- I'll just go with it.]

[I'm figuring that, since this won't go over well obviously, Jack didn't want to ruin their date by telling Remus about how he'd met Sirius and things didn't go well. Cause Rem would be upset then and their date would suck. *flails* He's still going to tell him though later.]

Peter Pan wrote:[oh god Jack is a dead man isn't he ]

he would be if my inner rad hadn't received a new rifle this morning

Jack Harkness wrote:"Silly," Jack tuts affectionately, his eyes taking in Remus' hurt arm with a concerned look. He brushes his hand over Remus' forehead again, smoothing the hair to the side and leaving the skin exposed so that he can lean down and place a gentle kiss on Remus' forehead as he sleeps. "Well, I'll stick around for a few minutes - maybe he'll wake up. Room for one more?" he says cheerfully, settling himself on the side of the bed without waiting for an answer and taking one of Remus' hands into his own.

The following post is dedicated to Nikki whom I love dearly and apologize for possibly upsetting with my LOL I MISS YOU LIKE NED MISSES HIS HEAD! DO YOU GET IT, IT RHYMES! joke. But you must admit it was funny the first time.

Oh no. OH NO YOU DID NOT SIR. YOU DID NOT JUST GO A-SMOOCHIN' ON MY MOONY, BITCH, BECAUSE IF YOU DID, THAT WOULD MEAN YOU ARE EITHER SUICIDAL OR JUST PLAIN STUPID, AND I'M BETTING ON THE FIRST BECAUSE MOONY WOULD NEVER DATE SOMEONE STUPID EVER. YOU SEE ME? THIS IS ME, IN A RAGE. THIS IS THE MADDEST I HAVE EVER BEEN AND IT BECAUSE YOU JUST WENT TOUCHING MY MOONY AND YOU DID NOT ASK PERMISSION, AND I AM GOING TO ROAST YOU ALIVE OVER A BLAZING FIRE. NO, BETTER. I AM GOING TO DOUSE YOUR TESTICLES IN HONEY, AND TIE YOU UP OVER A FUCKING ANT HILL, SO THEY NIBBLE YOUR MANBITS UP, BIT BY BIT. AND WHEN THEY ARE DONE, SHAGGA I WILL CUT OFF YOUR MANHOOD AND FEED IT TO THE GOATS, AND IF THERE AREN'T ANY GOATS, I'LL BUY THEM OFF OF ABERFORTH. AND THEN I WILL GO ALL SER GREGOR ON YO' SORRY ARSE, AND THROW YOU INTO THE FUCKING PIT, AND LET ME TELL YOU JACK, THERE IS NO FUCKING JAIME FOR YOU, BITCH. YOU WILL BE RIPPED LIMB FROM LIMB AND YOU WILL SUFFER AND YOU WILL DIE AND DON'T YOU WORRY I WON'T BE LETTING YOU STAY DEAD, EITHER, BITCH, BECAUSE YOU DON'T GET NO REST-IN-PEACE, SUCKER. I'M GONNA GO ALL THOROS OF MYR AND DONDARRION ON YOUR FUCKING ASS, AND RE-ANIMATE YOUR FUCKING CORPSE. THAT IS RIGHT, BITCH, YOU'RE GOING TO BE A FUCKING INFERIUS AND THEN NO I'M NOT FUCKING DONE WITH YOU. WHEN YOU ARE INFERIUS, YOUR JOB WILL CONSIST OF TWO TASKS-- SIRIUS WORSHIP, AND DOING *MAYO-BOY'S* LAUNDRY. THAT'S RIGHT. I DON'T WANT NO CORPSE AROUND MY LEATHER! YOU'RE GOING TO BE MY MANSLAVE'S MANSLAVE. THAT IS YOUR FUTURE. THAT. IS. YOUR. FUTURE. A MANHOOD-LESS TESTICLE-LESS FUTURE AS AN INFERIUS. AND MAYBE YOUR FUTURE WILL ALSO BE NIPPLE-LESS. BECAUSE I HAPPEN TO LIKE NIPPLES AND BECAUSE I LIKE THEM I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE ANY. AM I MAKING MY RAGE CLEAR? AM. I. MAKING. MYSELF. C-L-E-A-R. THEY SPEND THEIR TIME TALKIN' ABOUT ACHILLES RAGE. WELL HIS RAGE IS NOTHING. I SAY NOTHING. COMPARED TO MINE YOU-- YOU-- I DON'T EVEN HAVE A WORD, FOR WHAT YOU ARE, JACK, I JUST DON'T. Sirius is fuming. Sirius is in a rage. This is the maddest Sirius has ever been, ever. And there is nothing Sirius can honestly think of to do, other than shoot Jack the ugliest possible look in the world, because since last night, my inner Sirius has been trying to debate what's more important-- the brutal murder of this Jack-ass, oh, look, a pun I did not intend, how funny-- or making sure Remus isn't woken by any angry noises, sounds, or movement, because he's still asleep on Sirius' shoulder, and Sirius can't deny that he'd looked pretty happy about having a date, and he would probably be upset if his date turned up dead in a faulty vanishing cabinet somewhere. So Sirius is going to settle with biting so hard down on his tongue it bleeds, while shooting Jack a look of utter revulsion, the taste of bile in his mouth as Jack takes Remus' hand in his own. "So, Jack," he spat, his eyes narrowing, and his gaze wrought with venom, "I hear you're taking Remus on a date this weekend. There's a few things you should know," he said carefully, realizing that he's probably not going to get the chance to find Jack with James and Peter later, so he's going to have to be three times as menacing.

Jack smoothly ignores the foul look Sirius is giving him. It's not that he doesn't notice it, it's just that he's not into starting something over nothing. He doesn't know what Sirius' problem with him is, but he's not going to let it spoil his day. He's just going to sit here and hold Remus' hand while he sleeps. He smiles. "Yeah, I've got some plans with Remus this weekend. We're going to Hogsmeade," he says, and fixes Sirius with a politely expectant stare, pretty sure he knows what's coming.

I hate you. I just hate you Mya.
This is Eowyn. HATING. YOU. For what you do to my inner Sirius.
You're turning him to the dark side. He's asking if he can visit cousin Bella for tips.

"Great, that's wonderful. Now, let me make myself clear. When you fuck with Remus, you're fucking with his friends, too. There are four of us, and if anything happens to Remus, that he doesn't like, doesn't want, finds mildly displeasing, is unsure of, is slightly bothered by, is offended by, is deeply insulted by, subconsciously opposed to, or is in any way upset by you, we will hunt you down, we will find you, and we will inflict such pain upon you that your mind will be broken and your body will be in so many pieces there will be more pieces than there are digits after the decimal point in pi. That is what will happen. And it will hurt. You will feel pain. And it will not be over quickly. In fact, that will all happen, if Remus is any less than completely and perfectly happy when he gets back to our dormitory. Are we on the same page here? Great, because I think we're done, and it's about time you went away, to do whatever you Ravenclaws do, shouldn't you be studying or something? Wonderful. YOU'LL BE GOING NOW THEN," he said in a slightly raised voice, mentally smacking himself for possibly accidentally waking Remus, but thankfully, Remus does not in fact stir, and remains quite contentedly asleep on Sirius, whose grip on him is rather vice-like.

Love you too, bitch. xx

Eowyn is going to hate both Mya and Jack, but Jack doesn't get riled up easily so Sirius' freakout isn't doing much to worry him. He inwardly wonders why in the world Remus would have feelings for this guy, who is clearly unbalanced, but outwardly he shows no signs of reaction besides a hardening in his eyes and a clenching in his jaw. "I don't know what dating is like for you straight boys, but I avoid 'fucking with' people I like enough to ask out on a date. At least in ways they don't want," he says, because he's Jack and how could he NOT say something to that? He glares ever so slightly when Sirius raises his voice, but a quick glance at Remus' face tells him the Gryffindor is still sleeping and he relaxes at once - no harm done. "Actually, I plan to stay a little longer," he says evenly, refusing to be dismissed before he's ready to go.
And Mya may just pass out at her keyboard now so goodnight love.

THIS IS ME
HATING YOU

UNBALANCED, AM I? LET ME SEE, MY BEST FRIEND WHOM I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART JUST TURNED INTO A FUCKING WEREWOLF FOR A NIGHT, AND I'VE GOTTEN MAYBE AN HOUR OF SLEEP, BECAUSE I'VE SPENT THE REST OF THE NIGHT CARING FOR HIM. TALK TO ME ABOUT UNBALANCED, BITCH, WHEN YOU GO THROUGH THAT ONCE A MONTH, NOT ABLE TO DO ANYTHING BUT HUG HIM, AND HOPE HE'LL BE OKAY. Sirius shoots Jack a look that clearly says that if there is fucking of any kind, he'll be ripping Jack's balls off, and feeding them to the goats before you can blink. "Will you now? See, I don't think that's exactly wise," he said, his voice cold and hollow, as he tries to remember what's best for Remus, not what's best for satisfying his raging anger towards this cheeky bastard. "Fine then, if you plan on sticking around, why don't you tell me something about yourself, Jack," he replied, his tone indicating that the only thing he'd like to hear about Jack, is how he's planning on leaving, and never coming back.

Jack just smiles blandly, pretending not to notice the waves of hostility rolling at him because he's got no idea why Sirius is being so rude for no apparent reason. For a moment he entertains the wacky notion that Sirius is jealous, but he dismisses it because Sirius is apparently super straight. Maybe just a bit possessive and protective of his friends, then. Jack can appreciate that, even if he doesn't appreciate Sirius' unjustified hostility. "What would you like to know?" he says openly.

Sirius sighs, realizing this guy isn't going to make it easy for Sirius to hate him, and swallows for a moment, reaching up to toy with his ear piercings, tugging on his industrial as he eyes Jack cautiously. "For one thing, I'd like to know what makes you feel like you're good enough to be worthy of taking Remus out," he said bluntly, refusing to admit how jealous he was right now, or how scared he was, of potentially losing Remus. It wasn't Jack that he was angry at, it was every guy Remus would ever be interested in, anyone who could ever possibly lure him away from the friends he belonged with, and it terrified him, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it.

Jack blinks. Usually he's used to this sort of questioning coming from overprotective fathers clearly considering locking up their daughters, not overprotective best friends. It's cool, though, he can respect that. "I don't have any written references on me, but I'm sure if you searched the nurses' office you'd probably find some old medical records," he says with the hint of a cheeky smirk before turning serious. "Look, Sirius, I like Remus. I'm not looking to hurt him or use him, I just want the chance to get to know him. If he wants something more and I can make him happy, then I'll be over the moon. If not... well if I can make a friend like him then I'm still one helluva lucky guy. But I'm not going to sit here and list my qualifications to you because I don't think you want to hear some of them anyway," he says with a shrug.

Sirius gagged at the implications of Jack's last words, but sighed again, as he looked at Jack, and mildly contemplated the idea that Jack might not be some horrible, scary rapist out to steal his Remus away and lock him away from the ham of the marauder sammich for the rest of his life, which of course is EXACTLY WHAT JACK IS TRYING TO DO HERE FOLKS, CAN'T YOU ALL SEE IT?! Seriously. Siriusly. Seriously siriusly. Siriusly seriously. Okay, I'm done being seriously siriusly Serious!Sirius. I promise this time. Okay. We're good. Twisting the stud in his ear around in a circle, he chewed on his bottom lip, looking contemplative as he glanced at Jack. "Obviously Remus seems to agree with you, and I know him better than anyone, better than he knows himself, so I know he's not stupid, for one thing, in fact, he's probably one of the smartest people I know. So-- fine. Fine, just-- please don't be bullshitting me, alright? Because I'll probably mess up my hair and get blood in it when I brutally murder you if you do hurt him, so can we just... not go there? I don't know what Remus has told you about me, but he's pretty much my brother, no, he's more than that, him-- the rest of us-- we're a family, okay? And I care about him more than anything, so if you can make him happy, please just do that, alright? But don't think I won't hesitate if he comes back so much as frowning, or even furrowing his brow-- to turn you into dog food. Remus and I know this big, great, shaggy black dog that could tear you limb from limb, and I'm sure he wouldn't say no to some fresh meat," he said, absentmindedly tracing over the pawprint tattoo on his wrist, as he gave Jack a stony look. "Make him happy, and we won't have any problems. Got it?"

Jack grins broadly. "That I can do," he promises, because he's going to do his best to make Remus happy. His eyes are drawn back to the paw print on Sirius' wrist by Sirius' attention to it and he raises his eyebrows in curiosity. "I take it you and this big, shaggy dog care close," he comments. Then he makes a show of checking his watch and standing up. "I've got a study group," he explains, then leans over to kiss the sleeping Remus' forehead gently one more time. "Rest well," he whispers, before straightening up and flashing Sirius a million galleon smile. "Nice to meet you, Sirius. See you around," he says, then turns and saunters from the private ward, his greatcoat billowing behind him because Mya loves it when he does that.

Sirius has never felt such loathing towards any human being like this before that he was not related to. That's only a guess though, because he might be related to him, and just not know it, if Harkness is a pureblood. Sirius, after spending many minutes cuddling a still sleeping Remus, eventually lowers him onto the pillows and off of his shoulder, gets up, finds several antibacterial creams and the such, and promptly disinfects all the skin on Remus that Harkness touched, burns the fabric used to clean him off, and sits back down on the bed. Replacing Jack's kisses with his own, he feels much better, and DOES NOT SEE THE HOMOSEXUAL CONNECTIONS WITH THIS AT ALL, THANK YOU, BECAUSE HE IS OBVIOUSLY NOT JEALOUS IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM, and stays sitting on the edge of a bed, because there is no way he is sleeping, in case that stupid idiot comes back, and watches Remus with big, sad, puppy dog eyes, wondering if he'd still feel this way, if it was a girl Remus was dating, and deciding, probably not. But then, James hasn't ever really had a girlfriend, and neither has Peter, so maybe, maybe he would? Is he just going to be this protective of all his friends? Sucks to be them, I guess, because ProtectiveandmostdefinitelynotJealous!Sirius isn't going anywhere, anytime soon.

*is very amused by that last post* JS.

REMUS CAN YOU KNOW WAKE UP
SO WE CAN FINISH THIS

*gigglesnorts* Alright, alright, lovely. *pats* I LOVE YOU!!!

Remus wakes up shortly after Jack leaves, feeling quite comfortable, and glad to see that Sirius is still there. He notices the sad, puppy look though and gives Sirius a confused look, "What's up, Sirius, you look - is that the smell of disinfectant?" Ew, he hated that smell.

"Um. Yes. I spilled it on you. I am sorry. It's gone now," he said, having whatsoever no desire to describe the last fifteen minutes because he has no godly clue what the hell made him act and feel the way he did. "How're you doing? Think we can head back to the dorm soon?"

BECAUSE WE SHOULD END THIS AND SIRIUS SHOULD TALK TO REMUS AFTER THE RACK DATE SORT OF LIKE NOW.