Circle of Couches [Rated Because Faye is a Whore]

"Yeah, I'd agree with both of those accounts. We discussed violent things quite a bit, the last time I saw him. He seemed fairly impressed with me, being a beater and all," Dee said, amused."He has some really intense guns. They're kind of scary."

Regulus grinned. "They are. I can't wait to learn how to use 'em," he replied, looking up at her. "He SHOULD be impressed. A bludger would have killed me by now if it hadn't been for you- there's not a beater out there like you. If it weren't for Viktor, there's no way we wouldn't win the cup this year, but- goddammit, I'm going to catch that snitch if it kills me," he said irritably. "I've done it once, before him, I'll do it again."

[-dies laughing- NO! YOU CHEATED! YOU WILL NOT CATCH THE SNITCH AGAIN. NOPE. NEVER.]

[OI! GO TO YOUR OWN COMMON ROOM! xD jkily]

[I'm here, I'm here. AHOY, LAME POST BY MOI.]

Dee raises her eyebrows. "You're sure, Reggie? He is an internationally ranked Quidditch player, after all. You're sure these aren't just delusions of yours?" She throws him a friendly grin. "Don't worry, I have faith in you!"

Regulus stuck out his tongue at her and grinned. "I told you! I beat him to it, one time. Just have to find a way to distract him again," he said with a wink.

'"No, Reg!" she squeals, burying her head in the pillow. "More mental images! Stop, stop, stop!"

"I DIDN'T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING! Okay, MAYBE I was snogging him a little... okay a lot... and maybe I had my hands on his- BUT IT WAS ALL FAIR GAME REALLY I MEAN WE WERE STILL ON THE PITCH AND THE SNITCH WAS STILL FLYING ABOUT! It's not *my* fault he wasn't paying attention! I still caught the snitch before he did. Just have to do something similar at the game," he said defensively.

"Lovely, just lovely. I'll be sure to turn the other way. I should be beating bludgers at Gryffs, anyway, not paying attention to your antics," she said, patting his arm, not his head, because Dee knows you can never touch Reg Black's hair.

Dee is a smart, smart girl. "True enough. Make sure you hit 'em hard, too- gotta get the bludger through all their thick skulls," he said with a grin. "BUT BE CAREFUL WHERE YOU AIM THAT BLUDGER IF YOU'RE GOING FOR VIKTOR THERE BETTER NOT BE ANY DAMAGE ON MAH MAN."

"Well, I can't help it if he gets hurt. If he's too close to the Snitch, I'm going to have to do something!" She laughs, "But don't worry. I won't kill him."

"Just... keep that bludger away from the important bits. And I'm not talking about his head, either," he said sternly, hands on his hips in that oh-so-gay way, because he's Reg, and he's like that these days.

"I know what you're referring to. I'm not an ignorant kid, you know." She smirks, and looks him over, wondering when Fabian got to him.

"What-ever. Just make sure he's fine. Because if there are any damages, rest assured I will tell you every last detail of my sex life, INCLUDING the time we did it underwater, you hear me girl?!" Regulus hair flips, yes he does.

Dee knows Fabian got to him now. Next thing we know, Reg will be wearing makeup! "Underwater?" she squeaks. "What in the name of Merlin's sphincter possessed you to do that? What if it was so intense that you drowned, still in his b- never mind..."

DEE
WHO TOLD YOU
I'M SERIOUS DID SOMEBODY TELL YOU OMFG IMA KICK SOME ASS


Regulus stares at her in horror, and not over drowning. "DEMETRIA! WE WEREN'T STUPID, OUR HEADS WEREN'T UNDERWATER! And more importantly, what on EARTH are you thinking!? Do you really think I'm the one pitching?! 'Still in his butt'- honestly, do you know me at all!? I practically have 'uke' tattooed onto my forehead!"

Love, I was there in the Skype chat when they discussed it.

"WELL, SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW. I WASN'T THERE, AFTER ALL," she counters. Suppressing a giggle, she adds jokingly, "You know, I can make it so that is tattooed on your forehead." She whips out her wand quickly.

OH
WELL THEN
BOO ON YOU

Regulus facepalms and glares at her. "If you do that, I'll tell you about more than the time underwater- that's right, I'll tell you what goes on in the locker rooms, AND on the quidditch pitch at night. Don't make me do it, because you KNOW I will!"

lots of people know...

Dee dives under the table. "NO, PLEASE!" she squeals, covering her ears. "I can't handle it, it's too intense." She flops over, playing dead. "See, I'm dead- shit. Dead people can't talk."

I GOT THAT, IF SHE SAID IT IN SKYPE.
WHATEVER.

Regulus cackles in a rather Djinn-like manner and flips his hair again. "I'm warning you, Dee, I'll do it. YOU KEEP MY VIKTOR SAFE! So, anyway, since we're on the topic of sex, have you and Tolga, like, done anything?"

"Fine, fine. I won't knock him off his broom, and I won't set any bolars on him, swear." Dee's mouth drops open in shock at his next comment. "No, of course not! What do you think I am, a whore?" She thinks back to all her past sexual relations. "Don't answer that," she adds.

Regulus suppresses a giggle and shakes his head. "No, I didn't think you were a whore, Dee, I was just curious, was all. AND NO BOLARS GAWD I HEAR THEY LIKE TO EAT PEOPLE BALLS. Ew!" Regulus shudders at the thought. "... Do you plan to?"

"Yeah, it's true. JUST AVOID THEM AT ALL COSTS, REGGIE, ALL COSTS. They like eating penises in hot dog buns!" She shakes her head at the silliness of her bolar friends. "No, I mean, not until we get serious. I'm not... what I mean to say is that I don't want sex to ruin us, you know?"

Regulus nodded, though he didn't really get it, because sex is amazing and he doesn't understand how it can ruin anything, as it has only made his relationship totally awesome. "Whatever works for you, I guess. As for me, I think I need my sex, or I'll just... combust. Go through withdrawal. Sit in a corner twitching. Yeah."

"After all the crazy times you've done it, it's probably become an addiction. It's like Krack, KRACK! You're going to combust in a big Krack BOOM!" She flails around, making no sense because it's eleven. That's when I start going downhill.