Circle of Couches [Rated Because Faye is a Whore]

[Severus Snape, I am not your Jiminy Cricket, whatever you do to be a jackass to future mum-in-law here, you have to deal with later. It's all on you, suckaaa.]

[I no longer care, as James just gave up on Evotter, and the world is a wonderful place.]

"Then why didn't you stay?" she asked, half-accusatory, half-hurt. "I mean, that was my first time having sex, Severus, and it kinda hurt. I've always thought I would 'save myself' for my husband and shit, and then THAT happened and..." she sighed, again. "I don't know. I had hoped somebody had liked me for ME and not how I looked."

[DID HE REALLY GIVE UP?!!? This is seriously the best part of my day.]

Severus stared at her a moment in silence, before responding. "But I do like you," he said quietly. "I mean, I don't like you like you, but you're nice, I guess," he said, shifting guiltily in his seat. "I didn't stay because I didn't think it mattered. I figured you were smart enough to know what you were getting yourself into. It's not like you didn't know I was drunk, and I didn't force myself onto you. You made your own decision," he said, staring into her blue eyes. "If you didn't want it, you should have left when I asked. Don't expect me to feel guilty, when you threw yourself at me."

[YES. YES HE DID.]

Narcissa smiled a bit. "Well, I think I can take that," she leaned back into the couch. "I mean, as long as I'm not one of those people that you just throw around and use as you please, that's okay. I'm just sorry it happened, altogether." she stopped. "No, actually, I'm not sorry. It actually was nice, for lack of a better word, and I learned what a bolar was. So, are we good, then?"

Severus returned her smile. "Right, we're good, then. As long as you understand, I mean, that what we did doesn't really mean anything. It was just one night, alright?" he asked, to reassure himself more than her.

She nodded. "Yeah. I mean, it... uh... STRENGTHENED OUR BONDS... OF FRIENDSHIP...!" she said, trying to sound powerful and energetic. "And besides, for all I know, you could have a girlfriend or something..." she gasped. "Oh my god, you don't, do you? I would feel so guilty and they'd probably want me dead and... oh god." She looked at him, wide-eyed.

Severus burst out laughing. "Of course I don't! I'm not that low. I'd never cheat on anyone," he said, recalling his relationship with Remus. No one else had even crossed his mind when he'd been with him; the thought of cheating on him was preposterous. "No. I'm not with anyone," he said, a little sadly. "I don't know that I want to be with anyone, anyway. Caring about someone only ends up with you getting hurt anyway," he said, feeling more than a little miserable thinking of Lupin again.

Cissy bit her lip when she heard how upset he sounded. "I'm sorry, did I say something to upset you?" she asked. "It sounded like you were really sad... If you don't want to tell me or anything, then that's fine as well, but if you want to talk, I'm here." she smiled reassuringly.

Severus forced a smile at her and sighed a little. "Sorry. Just remembering someone," he muttered, zoning out again. Merlin, oh Remus... How I miss you still, even after all this time. I fear I'll never stop missing you, never stop loving you. "Love sucks."

She chuckled and crossed her legs. "I've heard," she said, not missing the last part. "Though, I mean 'it's better to have love and lost than not to have loved at all', right?" she looked at him, unsure. "Severus, maybe we aren't the most best friends in the world, but, honestly, I care enough about you at this point to be interested in what's bothering you. So, if you want to talk, you're welcome to, remember that." she smiled, brightly.

Severus turned slightly pink and stared at his feet, not really wanting to admit what he was about to. "It's just... I still have feelings for my ex boyfriend," he mumbled, hating himself for the truth in his words. "And he hates me."

Narcissa frowned, not liking that Severus was in an unrequited love sort of situation. "Well why would he?!" she asked. "I mean, you're a nice guy, Sev, and you care about people who deserve to be cared about." she pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them. "So, as far as I know, he has no reason to hate you. I'm a firm believer in that there is absolutely nobody in this world that can truly hate another person or whatever. Maybe he's angry with you right now; have you guys done the whole 'talking it out' thing?"

Severus laughed coldly. "We've done the whole 'talking' thing far too many times. No, Narcissa, he really does hate me. And it's all my own fault, really. I was stupid enough to think that I might actually be good enough for him. Whatever. It doesn't matter anymore. He has Hermione now," he said angrily, clenching his fists absentmindedly. "No, he made it clear, that he was through with me. Last time we spoke. He's done with me, for good, this time." Severus blinked away tears, and looked up at Narcissa. "And I'm not a nice guy. Or haven't you figured that out yet?"

[So, we go from jackass to crying?
You're an odd one.]

[Pansy. He's SEVERUS SNAPE. Yes, he's odd, and yes, that's how he acts]

She frowned a bit. "I guess I haven't figured it out, then. Call me stupid for thinking it, especially after recent events, but you're OBVIOUSLY a nice guy, Severus. I'm a Black; my whole family 'isn't nice', so I should know the difference between mean and not mean." she tucked a blonde lock behind her ear. "I mean, you're blaming yourself for 'thinking that you were good for him'. You're obviously upset that you aren't close to him anymore, and the fact that maybe one person does hate you doesn't make you a bad person. I'm not sure how much of a 'bad person' you think you are, or how much you feel that you hurt people, but you've managed to make me feel like a semi-decent person even though I've been feeling like a tramp for a while now. In my book, that makes you a good person."

Severus stared at her. "Wait, how exactly are you a tramp? Didn't you just say I was your first?" he said confoundedly, snapping out of his mournful moping for a moment. "Whatever. No, Narcissa, you just haven't seen enough of me. And trust me when I say that he's not by any means the only person who hates me. I'm not exactly well liked, see?" he said gesturing rather wildly.

Cissy sighed, seeing she wasn't really getting through to him. "Severus," she said seriously while putting her hands on his shoulders. "You're a nice person, and if not in general, than to me. I refuse to believe otherwise." She pulled back. "I don't care if you massacre my family and burn my house to the ground, I'd still call you a good person. Deep down, maybe." She stopped. "Severus, do you not like it when you act mean? You don't seem to like hurting people, right? That means you at least have a conscience, and therefore have the basis to become a good person."

Severus gazed at her thoughtfully for a moment, processing her words. "I... no, I don't like hurting people," he decided. "Well, not most people anyway. What if I like hurting some people, though? What if only some people matter to me, and the rest don't?" he asked. He did honestly feel kind of bad for ditching Narcissa- he'd told Lily that he did, after all. But Hermione? James? Sirius? He didn't feel the damnedest bit of guilt for any kind of pain he might have ever caused them. What did that make Severus, then?

Narcissa thought for a moment. "It would make you normal, then. I mean, I would feel no remorse for killing a bad wizard, you know? If what they were doing was wrong, I would feel guilty for ending their life, but not their actions." she wondered if that had conveyed her point at all. "What I mean to say is, you're normal to like some people and not others, and to want to hurt people and not hurt other people. If someone had provoked me to hurt them, I wouldn't feel bad doing it." she looked at him, thoughtfully. "It all depends on circumstance."

Severus nodded silently, deciding she was right. "Thanks, Narcissa," he said quietly, wiping away the tears that were escaping from his eyes as he thought of Remus again. "You're... you're a good person. And a smart person, at that," he replied, hugging her rather awkwardly.

Cissy chuckled and hugged him back. "Well, thanks. I like helping people with problems... which is weird, because I'm supposed to be a Slytherin. And should therefore chase around small children while screaming at them. But, whatever. I'm just glad to have helped, and I hope you don't just revert back to thinking that you're a bad guy when you aren't!" she smiled. "Talk to me again if you ever need to! Talking to you and helping you makes me feel like I've actually done something productive!"

Severus pointedly refrained from pointing out the 'productivity' the night of the party, and smiled at her. "Hey. Slytherin isn't just about chasing small children. It's also about eating Hufflepuffs, and terrorizing first years!" he joked, letting go of her. "Err... Narcissa? I'm sorry. For being so blunt, before. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I just didn't want you to go on thinking that there was something there that wasn't. I'm not trying to fool you," he said honestly.

She nodded, her smile only dimming slightly. "It's fine, really! I mean, I won't lie and say it didn't hurt being left there and you acting all blunt about it, but... I think I'd rather you do that than lead me on or something. I mean, it wasn't like I had a massive crush on you or anything, it was more like the heat of the moment, you know? So, don't be too worried about me being all upset over it. And, thank you, Sev, for apologizing. It means a lot." she hugged him briefly and began to walk away. "As I've said, like, a thousand times, I want you to talk to me when you have a problem! You seem like the type to bottle it up, and I like you too much for that."