Hospital Wing

[I was outside the curtain before you shoved me Nikki, why are you always shoving me lol]

Nikki yelled through the curtains. "Fabian, do you need anything?"

*Hermione hears people talking but can't focus on much right now. She vaguely realises her underpants are in the way of things... She's too busy screaming and trying to crush Remus' hand to do anything about that right now though. Good thing Remus is so strong, otherwise he'd be screwed...*

"A stopwatch would be lovely!" he says, pulling on some rubber gloves and pulls off Hermione's underwear, hoping Remus is okay with this.

[Hurrying is good. Let's cut to the chase, yeah...?]

*Hermione shrieks as the pain rips through her again. She glares at Remus with every ounce of hatred that ever existed in the universe.*

I AM NEVER EVER EVER HAVING SEX WITH YOU AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nikki, somehow remained calm, quickly transfigured her shirt into a large stop watch, forgetting that would mean she was standing around in her bra. What mattered to her was Mya. And so, the watch was presented to Fabian.

[eyes Nikki, you know I had to]

Tom is impressed at how much these people love eachother, and hopes that he will be included in their group in the future

[-slaps-]

In her daze, and insanity, Nikki began to pace, praying to every available God that Mya would be okay, that this would go smoothly, because she was freaking out.

REMUS IS STILL FREAKING OUT AND TOO BUSY WORRIED ABOUT MYA BEING IN PAIN TO WORRY ABOUT ANOTHER GUY PULLING HER UNDERWEAR OFF. NOT THAT IT MATTERS MUCH SINCE FABILICIOUS IS GAY. SO HE'S NOT WORRIED. EVEN THOUGH REMUS DOESN'T KNOW THAT FABILICIOUS IS GAY. HE CONTINUES TO SAY CALMING THINGS TO MYA BECAUSE I'M STILL FREAKING OUT AND DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.
AND LUCKILY HE'S STRONG...CAUSE OTHERWISE MYA WOULD BE CRUSHING HIS HAND RIGHT NOW.
"OKAY, LOVE. OKAY. WE WON'T. HOW ABOUT THAT?" EXCEPT THAT WOULD TOTALLY SUCK CAUSE HE'S STILL A TEENAGE BOY AND APPARENTLY THEY NEED SEX. STUPID TEENAGE BOYS. THERE'S MORE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE.

HOLY SHIT! GET THIS FUCKING KID OUT OF ME RIGHT NOW!

[was that really needed? the answer is no]

Hey Nikki, I feel akward being here because I don't really know you guys all to well. Is there anything you want me to get you a shirt perhaps? Would you like mine?

AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WE WON'T? ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU'RE DONE WITH ME AFTER ALL THIS? IS WEAR TO MERLIN I'M GOING TO AK YOUR ARSE SO MUCH!

*SCREAMS AGAIN*

I'M SORRY! I LOVE YOU! PLEASE STAY! YOU CAN HAVE THE NEXT CUB....

"Thank you, Nikki," he said. He waited for Hermione's next contraction and timed the time it took for another to hit. It was about two minutes, meaning it was time. "Hermione, I need for you to breathe, okay? Remus, help her stay calm. I'm also going to need for you to start pushing after your next contraction. Don't push during it, though, okay?"

Nikki hears Mya scream, and races back to the curtain. "Fabian, Fabian, is everything going alright?" She chewed her lip. "Please give me something to do, I am losing my nonexistent sanity over here!" She turned to Tom. "What shirt?"

You know you're not wearing one right? I'm offering you mine because well it seems like a nice thing to do. This isn't saying that you don't look good without a shirt I just think that it might be uncomfortable.

HOW IS REMUS SUPPOSED TO GET HER TO BE CALM WHEN HE'S FREAKING OUT HIMSELF?! OH YEAH, HE'S GOING TO FAINT AFTER ALL THIS. BUT NOT NOW. MYA WOULD KILL ME.
MYA CAN IMAGINE REMUS SAYING ALL THESE CALMING THINGS. AND ACKNOWLEDGE THEM? PLEASE?! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY OR DO. *FLAILS*

NO, I AM NOT FINISHED ABUSING THE BILLY MAYS KEY. NO I AM NOT.

*HERMIONE SCREECHES AS THE NEXT CONTRACTION ARRIVES ON CUE, TEARS POURING UNNOTICED DOWN HER FACE*

WHAT THE FUCK? YOU WIZARDS THING YOU'RE SO SUPERIOR TO MUGGLES AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A WAY TO MAKE THIS NOT THE WORST FUCKING EXPERIENCE IN HISTORY????

*AFTER THE CONTRACTION SUBSIDES, SHE PUSHES AS HARD AS SHE CAN, GASPING AND BREATHLESS, BECAUSE SHE'LL DO ANYTHING TO GET THE CUB OUT ASAP*

Nikki glared at him. "I don't understand, I am wearing a shirt. It is just a watch at the moment. It can be a shirt soon. No worries." She felt this odd need to start speaking in caps WHEN MYA BEGAN TO SCREAM AGAIN. "FABIAN, IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON, IMMA BLOW UP!"

Fabian smiles at Nikki. "Everything's fabulous." he says. "YOU HEAR THAT, HERMIONE? YOU'RE DOING FABULOUS. Could you try to talk to her, Nikki?"

"Is everything alright in there? You can do it Hermione!"

*SHE'S VERY GRATEFUL FOR ALL THE CALMING CRAP HE'S SAYING INSTEAD OF FAINTING, BUT SHE CAN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD OF IT BECAUSE THERE'S A CHILD COMING OUT OF HER. IT'S NICE TO HEAR HIS VOICE THOUGH, SO HOPEFULLY HE'LL KEEP IT TOGETHER A LITTLE LONGER....*

Nikki smiled, and realized Mya probably couldn't understand a word, so she decided to sing. "MYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! YOUUUUUUUUUUUU AMAZING WOMAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN! YOU ARE DOING FINE! KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" Her voice echoed through the room, oddly operatic.

*HERMIONE PUSHES AFTER ANOTHER CONTRACTION*

ARE WE THERE YET?????

"Hermione, I can see the head. Just push, okay? Just keep pushing!" he says, trying to sound encouraging.

[*insert Dory from Finding Nemo's "Just Keep Swimming" song here*]

OH YEAH. I AM KEEPING IT TOGETHER. I AM, I AM. *FLAILS* UM...MORE CALMING WORDS. YEP. YEP. THEY'RE THERE ALRIGHT.

[STUPID COMPUTER!! NOW'S NOT THE TIME TO MESS WITH ME! *KICKS*]