The Portrait of the Fat Lady

[I figured you'd rather not die in such a boring fashion.]

"Protego!" he cast, knocking the portraits onto the floor. "EXPULSO!" he shrieked, missing James by less than an inch and blowing a hole in the wall behind him. "Fuck! Furnunculus!"

[OI! QUIT PUTTIN HOLES IN MY erm...castle? Or I'll come catch them both due to the GIANT HOLE IN THE CEILING.]

[STAY OUT OF THIS PROFESSOR. I DON'T WANT TO GO TO AZKABAN, I'M TOO YOUNG.]

[Then I suggest you leave the castle in one piece.]

[... YES, SIR.]

Severus Snape wrote:[... YES, SIR.]

[That's MRS sir to you.]

[Oh merlin ily]

James only had time to wave his wand frantically and think Protego! as hard as he could. To his surprise, it worked. He wheeled back for a moment, then found his footing and regained his balance. "Expulso!" he yelled, his wand waving wildly so he blew up coat of armor, a statue, and a piece of the wall.

[Go ahead and finish it if you want.]

[Ily too.]

[I feel bad for James. Because, like, Fleur and Sirius are talking about him right now. And Fleur may just have to confess what happened last night.]

[*hugs McGonagall* That was amazing.]

[But... but I want to play with my food first. Aw, hell. I'm no Pansy, fuck it, I'm finishing you off.]

Severus snarled, being hit in the back with a piece of the statue. "FUCK YOU JAMES POTTER! FUCK YOU, FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER DONE, TO ME, TO HER, TO EVERYONE, YOU INSOLENT BASTARD! Sectumsempra!" he yelled, watching with both horror and delight as James fell to the ground, blood pouring out. He stared in shock for a moment, unable to think. Shit. What did I do? They're going to send me to Azkaban! OH WAIT NO THEY'RE NOT THIS IS AWF. Severus contemplated his options- he could leave him here, alone, to die, or he could take him to the hospital wing. That, or now that James was unconscious, he could close the wounds, and leave him for someone else to find later. He decided on the last one, having made the decision that not even killing James Potter was worth Azkaban. He couldn't let him die. He knelt down and sealed the wounds again, though it was rather reluctant. "Vulnera Sanentur," he half whispered, half sang, until the cuts he'd made were closed. He was badly wounded still, and was out cold from the blood loss. Severus stood up and spat on his body, kicking him hard and walking away. He was done with that asshole. For now.

[ What did I do? They're going to send me to Azkaban! OH WAIT NO
THEY'RE NOT THIS IS AWF. i fucking love you lol]

[Pansy taught well, Snape.]

[James, I know you just got almost killed and stuff. But can you go into the common room so Sirius can punch you? Kthnxbi]

[-still regrets not using the cruciatus-]

It hurt almost as much as being crucioed, James thought. He shouted in pain as he felt huge gashes open up on his body. Then he was laying on the floor, but he hadn't felt himself fall, and there was his blood everywhere... His vision started to tunnel. He was in too much shock to say or do anything, and he probably couldn't have if he wanted to. Finally he lost consciousness there on the ground, the last thing he saw being Snape glaring at him with hatred in his eyes.

[Umm... so... I'll just lie here until someone finds me laying in a pool of my own blood... yeah...
Snape, that was pretty badass. I think you've been hanging out with Pansy too much.]

[Should I come and find you? Fleur needs to tell you about how she told Sirius anyway!]

[If you want to. It probably helps Flames out... *is clinging to Flames because I want James to have a relationship*]

[Alright!]

Fleur came out of the portrait hole. She needed to find James before Sirius did, or he would be - Wait. What the hell? She glanced down at the ground and saw James laying down on the ground, in a pool of his own blood. Her hand flew to her mouth and she panicked, Sirius? No, he couldn't have found him that fast. Not possible. Shit! Fleur wasn't a good healer at all. She needed to get him to the HW. She pulled out her wand and quickly muttered, "Mobilicorpus!" James, you better not be dead. I will - well, I don't know what I'll do! But don't be dead. She hoped Sirius would lighten up after seeing his best friend like this, but she didn't think that would happen.

[OFF TO THE HW!]

Bellatrix B. wrote:[Pansy taught well, Snape.]

Regulus Black wrote:[-still regrets not using the cruciatus-]

[Obviously, my teaching here is not finished.]

Pansy Parkinson wrote:

Bellatrix B. wrote:[Pansy taught well, Snape.]

Regulus Black wrote:[-still regrets not using the cruciatus-]

[Obviously, my teaching here is not finished.]

[*isn't sure whether to agree or not* >_>]

Gabby exits the portrait hole and follows the trail of blood.

Dom comes to the portrait, pushing two fat blob-children and out of breath. She gives the password to the Fat Lady, and attempts to push her two new fat adopted children through the portait hole. She lets out a cry because they won't fit.

"DAMN YOU KATIE!" she yells, having been stuck with the two blobs now.

[Dom's adopted kids, Katies kids]