Hospital Wing

[I DID! AND I LAUGHED, SO MUCH.]

Joel pads out of his office, steaming slightly around the edges and holding his ever-present cup of tea. Sitting down in his comfy chair, he waited patiently in case he was needed in pajama bottoms and a loose kimono. Halloween shot him a death glare and emptied the water fromt he tub, turned the dial on the side to shrink it back down and sent it on it's way. Joel ignored all of this and went back to reading a romance novel and sipping chamomile tea.

*Hermione's been avoiding the Hospital Wing since hearing about Joel's death, because the thought of him not being here anymore makes her sad. But she needs to find some way of keeping Kiora calm over the full moon, and she thinks reading up on the potions in the HW would be the best place to start, so she puts her grief aside for a little while and carries Kiora through the doors with a heavy heart.*

*The place is quiet, empty except for Joel sitting in his comfy chair with his tea and his romance novel.*

*Wait....*

*Hermione screams at the top of her lungs.*

Joel's romance novel went flying one way (the sexy men on the cover scrambling for cover) and the cup of tea went flying in another as an ear splittign scream filled the air. Joel tumbled over backwards, his chair hitting the floor with a THUD. He somersaulted head over heels and hit the wall with an "Oomph" and a muttered curse.

*Hermione screams again, and the baby starts crying and the shit hits the fan because it's all bedlam now!*

JOEL! YOU'RE DEAD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE WHEN YOU'RE DEAD!?

Joel looked up at her and blilnked a few times. Then, pulling out his wand he advanced on the screaming child. Waving it he made adorable unicorn and fairies dance around to appease the progeny of his friends. Hoepfullly it works, he doesn't want to god mode. Then he looked at Mya and blinked again. "Yep i was dead. I highly discourage the act of dying. It's not fun, and it's pretty boring on the other side...they don't have jam, you see. Or Mustard."


[TERRY PRATCHETT REFERENCE YAY!!!]

[XD I haven't got around to reading Pratchett yet - there's a HUGE collection of his stuff here but I always forget to borrow *headdesk*]


*Hermione gasps as the unicorn and fairies burst from Joel's wand and begin to dance for Kiora. All the pretty soon quiets the baby, while Hermione stands staring at Joel in totally unattractive open-mouthed wonder.*

Did a sexy angel rescue you? Is there a handprint somewhere on your body?

His face fell. "Unfortunately no. Sad days, i was brought back by some superbosomed bitch named Kahli...NO NOT REALLY DO YOU WANT TO SEE? I can't show you all of it..." he winks lubriciously and turns around, displaying the hand prints that faintly trailed their way from his shoulder to someplace in his jammies.


[OMG I LVOE PRATCHETT. SO. MUCH. OMG. His characters and story telling skills are AMAZING. I read Hat Full of Sky first, from his children's series about Tiffany Aching...she's amazing...hit the Faerie Queen with a frying pan xD xD


andi thin i used lubriciously right. no idea at the moment i'm tired...]

*Hermione blinks in shock. Slowly she takes a few steps forward and, reaching out with her free hand, gently touches his shoulder.*

You're really here? You're really real? You're alive!? OH MY GOD, YOU'RE ALIVE!

*She hugs his back with her free arm, grinning like a loon on loon tablets. His jammies are soft. She wonders what fabric softener he uses.*

Joel hugs her back happily and gestured to a chair that had just walked up. "I am!! I really am!! And take my advice...dying is no fun...Tea?"

*Hermione gratefully takes the offered seat and readjusts Kiora in her arms.*

Love some, thanks. And I'll try not to die anytime soon. How did it happen, Joel? Viktor said you did something to save Reg and Djinn took over....?

He sat down and beamed at Kiora who was in fact the most adorable baby ever. Setting out the tea service, he gestured for the teaopot to serve Mya and then he starte to prattle. "It wasn't really like that...Djinn has a weakness for alcohol and narcotics. They're fatal in minute doses and Reg had a lot in his system. Anyway, since Djinn and i are connected mentally when he lost control of his thoughts they all bombarded into me and his thoughts are HUGE and all consuming to a weak human mind." he paused and added a cube of sugar to his tea. "Soi turned into a vegetable, then i died. Then i was brought back after waiting for EVER in limbo...apparently i was considered collateral damage. And that's when the sexy angel felt me up." he winked again.

*Hermione absently stirs milk and sugar into her tea while she takes the explanation in. And why, yes, Kiora is the most adorable baby ever, thankyouverymuch. She grins quickly before she takes her first sip.*

So was the part where you got felt up by a sexy angel worth the part where you died? Well, I'm really glad you're back, anyway. Broke my heart a little bit, when Viktor told me the news...

His mischivous face fell. "I'd guessed some people might be upset. You and Remus mostly, since i don't know many other people here. Halloween took care of the place really well...and yes, dying was worth the sexy feel up." he winked again, but with less vigor.

*Hermione takes another sip of tea, noticing the mood dampening.*

Hey now, no need to be upset - everything's better again, now you're back. I forbid you to be sad when you copped a feel from a sexy angel! You... you want to hold the baby?

*She offers, because that's the best way she knows to make people feel better these days. 'Oh, you're sad? That sucks. Hey, here's the most adorably kid ever to brighten your day!'*

He shook his head. "No, i better not. I'm not good with children...i can please them from afar, candies and pretty little things to play with but get me close and i'm an awkward fish without a tail out of water." he stood up and walked over to a cabinet. "You came for some potions right? Oh! And i was wondering, how the...you know...happens? Whenever Remus is away for...business...once a month?"

*Hermione is utterly at a loss as to why anyone wouldn't want to hold her adorably child, but dismisses it a moment later. More cuddles for her. Her face clouds over at the mention of the reason for her visit.*

Yeah... it doesn't seem to go so well with her when Remus goes away for business. It's impossible to settle her, she cried all night and nothing could make it better. I don't know what causes it, to be honest. I don't know if she's in pain, or just feels uneasy, or just knows something is happening to Remus and misses her Daddy.... That's why I came in here - I wanted to look at a few potion labels, try and find something that's suitable for an infant to help calm her.

He nodded and padded over to a cabinet, his black fox slippers flip-flopping. "I think i may have something...she doesn't look sick or anything, i think it's maybe a little bit of a genetic trait passed on. Nothing to worry about, i assure you i think. She'll just alway know what day it is forevr, i think. I'll talk to Djinn." he muttered to himself aas he rummaged in the cabinet.

*Hermione feels a little swell of relief at Joel's words and starts to smile, but it falls into a frown as he continues.*

Talk to Djinn? Is he not-dead too, now? Or again? Whatever...

"No the damn retard isn't dead. Did you know he left me at the bottom of the Lake? In my coffin? Yeah, he totally did i had to crawl out of the lake, covered in muck and goo and things best left unmentionable, because he left me there. To go see Regulus Black! REGULUS BLACK! I was floored. Flabbergasted, discombobulated and in general a whole bunch of words which mean the same as shocked. I don't want to get redund- AH!" He held up a bottle trumphantly.

*Hermione's so caught up in his rant that she forgets she's holding her teacup half way to her lips. When he lets out his triumphant shout, she jumps. Tea slops over the side of the cup and stains down her only school shirt that had thus far escaped the mark of baby vomit.*

Bugger. What did you find, Joel?

He blinks at her. "Oh my, sorry about that. Here i have something for stains too, though lord knows i never use it...i tend to get all sorts of stains on my robes working in here." he wanders into his office and grabs her a slightly dusty bottle. "I forgot i had it. Anyway, a drop of this in her bottle will calm her down for a while...it should be safe, i've nevr had to use it for a child but it doesn't have anything harmful in it."

[Myaaaa i hast o go to beeed it's 4 am D: so you can either leave or we can chat more and finish tomoro? up to you <3]

*Hermione puts her teacup down so she can take both offerings gratefully.*

Thanks so much Joel - you're a lifesaver. Literally! And don't worry about the shirt - tea stains are the least of my questionable smelling clothing decorations these days... Say, is that some of the tea I bought you?


[sorry - got caught up with work and am now writing a supervisor email that says RAWR to my team!]

[we can finish up tomorrow! NIGHT LOVE! XX00]