A Random Corridor

"Too young to understand?! How old are you? I haven't been a virgin since I was like, fourteen!" he said in horror. "Honestly? What have they been thinking? I feel the immediate urge to educate, you," he said, shaking his head in dismay. "Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm gay," he said, shrugging. "Also, I approve of the lack of brain to mouth filter. It just really pisses me off when people dance around things instead of just saying them, I mean, I'm a fan of the brutally honest. Don't believe in softening things up, really."

"I'm fifteen," Alice responds, not surprised in the least that Rad lost his virginity so early. He could teach her things... "I bow to you, Master Dearborn. I am grateful for the sex lessons," she says, bowing down before straightening up again. "Oh, cool! Now you and my brother can date. I guess that's good then, isn't it, Master Dearborn? You know about the men, and that's what I need to learn. I think the drugs ruined my brain. I don't even think about what I say anymore..." She shrugs. "So, I guess I believe in your philosophy, then. You can be Rad the Sex Master, and I can be Alice the Brutally Honest Padawan."

Caradoc grinned. "Men? I can help you there. I pretty much know all there is to know about guys, obviously aided in my being one, of course. I would be happy to help you, Alice the Brutally Honest Padawan. And I must say I like my title, ha. Rad the Sex Master. It has a badass ring to it, don't you think? When I get my pet badger, I'll let you name it, I think," he said with a chortle. "I will gladly give you sex lessons, but I highly recommend you do not reveal such teachings to your brothers, as I don't like the idea of having to beat up someone so early in the school year, and I don't see Gideon approving."

"Good, good. WAIT... PET BADGER?" she asks, flailing. "THAT IS SO HARD CORE. I only have a cat. I think he's a ninja though..." Alice nods. "Badger, badger, badger, badger, mushroom, mushroom," she sings. "I would be honored to help name your badger, Rad the Sex Master!" She laughs. "No, I wouldn't tell them. The only times my brain keeps quiet is when whatever I'm talking about involves my brothers and sex, or teachers and drugs. I swear on my ninja cat!"

"You have a ninja cat? Well that's fucking awesome. I'm definitely getting a badger. Apparently all the other houses have cool sigils, but Hufflepuff is a fucking badger. So now I'm on a quest to make the coolest badger this world has ever seen. I'm starting with laser vision and rainbow power, but maybe I'll make it fly or something, just for good measure. What do you suggest, Ali?" he asked with a grin. "Drugs and sex? I think we're going to get along great."

"A flying badger with laser vision and rainbow power," she muses. "YOU NEED TO GIVE IT X-RAY VISION, AND REALLY COOL UNDERPANTS. A badger is only as cool as its underpants." She nods vigorously. "It's like we're different aged twins! Insaneeee. You know, I trust you, so I'll tell you this. We Prewetts have a little drug ring going. We have cookies, brownies, joints, the works. It's usually me, Mol, and Gideon doing that stuff, but Molly and Gideon don't usually share with me. Wankers," she says, rolling her eyes. "I get my own stuff."

"Different aged twins? I guess you never know," he chuckled. "Well, if you ever need any, I've got quite the supply, if you catch my drift," he said in a lowered voice. "I might even give you a discount, because I like you so much," he laughed. "Not too much though, since I'm obviously not modeling during the school year while I'm out in England, I've got to make my money somehow. I spent most of what I made on getting in here."

Alice grinned up at him. "Well, thanks! Wow, you modeled?" She looks Rad over while nodding. "I can see that. What kind of- wait, don't tell me! My psychic powers will tell me!" She closes her eyes and rubs her temples. "You were an underwear model!" Alice is just that cool.

Caradoc laughs and nods. "Yes, I'm an underwear model, quite a famous one at that, in the US, anyway. Your sister Molly wanted pictures, but I told her no, because her brothers wouldn't appreciate it. If you promise not to tell, maybe I'll get you an autographed one, though," he laughed.

"Beat that, Trelawney," she mutters. "Oh, really? Score one for Alice! I won't tell, I'll swear on my ninja cat again. You know, I don't actually remember my cat's name. I just call him ninja cat..."

"Ninja cat? Sounds like a good name to me. And awesome, here, let me see if I've got one on me," he said, reaching into his jacket's pocket and pulling out this. He leans it against the wall to sign it with his quill and hands it over. "Enjoy," he said with a wink.

Alice tries not to stare at it. She nods in appreciation. "Nice knickers. I like the pattern," she says, and she's totally not looking at his package in the picture. But he's also an underwear model so she can't exactly help it. "Very nice stripes."

Caradoc laughs and smirks. "Right, the stripes are wonderful," he said, rolling his eyes. "Though, that's a bathing suit, not underwear, actually. You might catch me wearing it, I was thinking about going down to the lake for a swim later," he said with a smile. "Is there really a giant squid here? I've always wanted to wrestle one of those."

Alice facepalms. "Right, of course. That's why you're in a pool... Oh, yep. He's in the lake. I named him Frodo." That was the first name that popped into my head. Don't ask... "I tried to befriend him once, but he smacked me across the face. I got a black eye!"

"You got a black eye from a giant squid? You're fucking cool. You and I are just really, really, really cool," he said with a grin. "Yeah. That'd be the pool. I'll see if I can meet this squid without gettin' a black eye," he said with a laugh. "Not sure how that'll go. Maybe you'll come with me!"

"Well, thanks," she grins."I am quite wonderful, according to the student body. You could call me Hogwarts royalty." And out comes the ego. I can really see her and Sirius getting along. "Let me check my schedule and invest in a helmet, and this can happen."

"Sounds awesome. Helmet would be good, can't be squishing that pretty head of yours, Gideon could probably at least give me something of a challenge in a fist fight, and I don't wanna beat him up or something," he laughed. Oh my god, if Sirius and Alice do date, their combined egos will explode the world. THIS SHOULD HAPPEN, JUST FOR THAT. -dies-

"A helmet would definitely be a good investment for when I go bungee jumping. Oh, and don't tell Gideon about that either. He wouldn't be happy." IT SHOULD HAPPEN. THEY NEED LIKE, A BANNER WITH A SLOGAN THAT SOMEHOW RELATES TO EGOS.

HELLS TO THE YEAH. I APPROVE. "Bungee jumping? Awesome! You're exciting," he said decidedly. "Speaking of exciting, I have exciting things to do with my badger training. So I must be off. It was truly awesome to meet you, Ali," he said with a smile. "I'll see you around, and then we can wrestle some squid after bungee jumping!" He waves and walks off.

"Totally. I'll just pen you into my extremely full schedule and we'll be good to go. Goodbye, Master of Sex." She bows and skips off.

Caradoc is here, waiting outside of the painting of the pear that likes to be tickled. -cue Alice in her jeep-

Alice drives up in her totally awesome Barbie Jeep that I just realized should never be shortened, unless we want to refer to it as the BJ for the rest of our lives. She stops in front of Caradoc, looking totally awesome. "Hey there, Sex Master. You like my Barbie Jeep? Ten owls were required to deliver it. But whatever. Ready for the shenanigans?"

Caradoc blinks, then bursts out laughing. "You drive a Barbie Jeep? Can we pretty please be best friends? Because you might be the most awesome person I have ever met in my entire life. Also, I would get in, but I don't think I'd fit-- yet," he said, drawing his wand. "Engorgio!" Caradoc climbs into the jeep now that his hunky self with all those muscles can fit. "Onwards, Padawan! For I have much to teach you. After squid battles, of course."

[You post us at the lake? If it's taken, make a new thread or something.]

Caradoc is wandering down the hallway, looking like this:

Viktor is walking here too. What a coincidence. He sees Caradoc again and grins. "Hey, Rad," he says smiling because Rad seems like a pretty cool guy. He's not wearing his jacket today though, sorry.