Girl's Dormitory 1 (The O5)

Pansy looked away from him, unwilling to recognize the emotions present in his eyes, but she forced herself to turn back and at least give him the decency of eye contact as she spoke. She hoped for a moment that he wouldn't take it too badly. But she knew it wouldn't be as easy as she hoped. Nothing in her life was ever easy. "Blaise, I can't keep doing this to you."

"Doing what...?" He asked knowing full well he didn't want to know the answers. "I am fine. We are fine. More than fine." He added for good measure. He gently turned her head to face him so he could look in her eyes. They were a sea of confusion and sadness. He felt a pang in his heart understand whats those emotions were for. But he couldn't bring himself to say it. He would not make this easy for her.

Pansy kept her face stoic, but she knew her eyes were a different story. She couldn't always control what they revealed as well as she wished, but she stared back at Blaise anyway, wishing his hand wasn't so soft on her face. "Using you." There. Blunt. Put it out there. "Looking for something I'm not going to find with you, no matter how much I've tried. It's unfair to you, and it's unfair to me, and I need to stop it."

He dropped his hand, and shuffled away from er, "Us-using me? I don't believe you. You could never- I mean...No." He said in disbelief. Of all the things he thought she was going to say, this was not one of them. Break up with him, yes. But using him? That was low. He had given her everything. He was half a virgin when he met her. Told her he had loved her. She had said i- No. She hadn't. Not once had she uttered it back. he had convinced himself she had. He was fooling himself. She was using him. He looked her over, seeing her in a different light. Yet his heart ached to touch her, and hold her. Just to have her in his arms. He would always love her. "I don't care." He said defiantly.

"You should care. Because I've done nothing but--" Pansy couldn't think of what to say. His original reaction was expected enough. Anyone should be pissed at being used. But to say he didn't care? She knew he had to, deep down. It had to hurt him as much as it hurt her. She knew it had to. "Blaise, you deserve someone who can love you, properly. And as much as I'd like it to be, that someone is not me."

"I don't care" He repeated. "I love you. That's all I need. There is no one like you..." He trailed off. He would never love someone like her. Someone that could alight him like a fire with just a single glance. She took his breath away with the slither of touch. No one would ever have that effect on him again. If he could have her, he would never be happy again. He didn't want anyone else. The thought of anyone else touching him in that way made him physically ill. Anyone touching her that way made him so angry. Then his mind drifted to the idea that she would start dating again. She would be with someone else. Love someone else. Unless... "Is there someone else?"

Pansy looked at the floor and shut her eyes as he told her he loved her. Why should he love her? Even after she told him she was using him? It didn't make sense to her, she couldn't comprehend someone caring for her that unconditionally. She looked at him again as he asked if there was someone else. What could she say? He looked as if he was about to break to pieces here in her room, and she hated that she was the one to do this to him. Even if she did not love him, she still cared about him. She longed to go touch him, try and comfort him like he had always tried to do for her, but knew that would only make things worse. She forced herself to stay where she was. "Blaise, you know as much as I do that Draco probably hates me right now. The last time I talked to him..." her voice fell to something only just above a whisper. "The last time I talked to him, he threw a lamp and I told him I didn't want to fix what we'd had. I've got nothing."

Blaise faltered, "I didn't say anything about Draco..." He mind caught up with his heart and he knew that it was Draco. She loved him. She always had. He had known that from the start. They way she looked at him was nothing like how she looked at Blaise. The love in her eyes was so undeniable and rare for Pansy. Love like that could never just be forgotten. It was much like Blaise's love for Pansy. Unconditional. Never ending. He suddenly became angry at Draco for taking Pansy away from him. "Its Draco isn't it?"

Pansy stood up. "Blaise, I don't even know if he'll ever speak to me again. I'm not doing this because of him. I'm doing this because it's not right what I'm doing to you. Because I know it can't go on and it's got to stop before it goes too far. I've let it go too long already, and for that I'm sorry." She looked at him, her heart pounding hard and heavy in her chest, hurting for what she knew she was making him feel. She'd felt it before. Blaise was so tragically like her, and she hated it for him. She knew how it sucked to love someone so completely and not get their feelings in return. "I never meant to lead you on. I was just hoping desperately for something I guess I never found."

[Then you're better than Remus.]

Blaise didn't hear what she said. He didn't need to. Regardless of her lying, he knew it was about Draco. He dropped to the floor in hurt realisation. He would never get her back. The last of her words seeping through his hard outer shell, "...hoping desperately for something I guess I never found.". She would never want him, like he did. But Draco. He wasn't right for her. The way he treated her was wrong. He messed her around. Blaise had lost count of how many times he had comforted Pansy after Draco had hurt her. The broken look in her eyes. When he had stayed up so many times with her, cradling her broken self, in the rare times Pansy let her guard down. "He's wrong for you. I could be so much better Pansy." He turn to knee in front of her taking her hands. "I would do anything for you. Anything."

She had to look away as he fell to the floor. She couldn't look at him, couldn't see his heartbreak or it would cause her own. As he took her hand, she stared down at their intertwined fingers, avoiding the look she knew she'd find in his eyes. Pansy squeezed his hand, fighting to keep her own eyes dry. "Blaise, I know you would. And you have, so many times. More times than I've ever deserved from you. But it's not fair if I don't give you the same love you give me. I cannot bring myself to do that to you. I just can't." She mumbled, "I will not treat you the way Draco used to treat me." Finally, she looked up to meet his glace. "I have to do this."

He closed his eyes at her words. She was doing this to be kind to him. Not for her. For him. She still felt something. He looked at her once more, "I could have given you everything. I would have loved you until your dying day, and more. I would have treated you right. I would cherish you. And want to be with you. He will be none of those things. But..." He paused taking a deep breath before barreling on, "I love you enough to let you go. I want you to be happy. No matter what. And despite how much it will hurt me to see you with him, I will be there when he breaks your heart. Comforting you and holding you as you cry. That I promise." He said. His eyes filled with the most love he could muster up. He stood up, leant forwards and kissed her pouring his head onto the kiss. Every microbe of his being, taking it and giving it to her to keep for ever. He pulled away. "You Pansy Parkinson, will always have my heart. From now to forever. Never forget that." And he turned and left leaving behind the only women he would ever truly love and cherish. Nothing would compare. Never again would he love with his whole fiber of his being, and he hoped she remembered that.

The tears came and Pansy didn't even care to stop them. As she watched his back leave, it was like watching herself leave. He saw her like she saw Draco, the only one she'd ever been able to truly love, the only one able to fully capture and fully break her heart. She hated that she had to break Blaise's heart, but she knew it was better this way. She couldn't lead him on. She couldn't use him to search for something that wasn't there, that couldn't be there. She prayed he would be wrong about needing to be there when Draco breaks her heart again, but she wasn't sure. She didn't know if that wouldn't happen because Draco truly had changed and intended to be finally fully faithful to her, or if it wouldn't happen because she would take her heart back and never hand it over to the guy again. Her lips still with the memory of Blaise's last kiss, she laid back on her bed and hid her face beneath her pillow, her shoulders shaking silently with tears. It took a few moments, but she gathered herself, dried her eyes, and sat up. That was that. It was finished and she was done playing with his heart. Pansy was just Pansy once again. No boy's heart in her hand, perfectly lonely as it seemed was her fate. Sure, she's feeling over-dramatic, but if you had to do what she just done, you'd be like this too.

Sirius Black wrote:[Then you're better than Remus.]

[I kinda wanted to hit you for oocing in the middle of this. With, you know, all the love I can include in that hit.
But yes. I will not be like Remus, considering I attacked him for being like that.

I am exceptionally distraught now.]

[It's over..... *feels they should know that Draco is throwing himself a party now* I'm sorry that you're both distraught.... that sucks.... but yeah.... PANCO FTW.... also I will most decisively NOT be breaking her heart thank you very much!]

Pansy didn't feel like going anywhere. Didn't feel like talking to anyone. Didn't feel like eating or walking or reading or anything. She laid down again pulled her quilt moodily over her shoulder, taking hardly any time at all to fall asleep.

Tam stepped in slowly and glanced around. Pansy was fast asleep so she stealthily walked of to her trunk and slipped it open. She slid her clothing out of her drawers and dumped it all in the trunk. Sifting through the pile of fabric, she pulled out her maternity clothes and all of Hashbee's things. She wouldn't be needing those anymore. Walking around the room she slowly picked up all her belongings and sorted through them as she dropped them into the trunk.

[I'm doing this now because there's nothing else to do. This can be before or after Tam leaves. Whatever.]

Dee's eyes snapped open. Something felt different. Wrong, even. She sat up quickly. Noticing how easy it was to sit up, her hands dropped to her stomach. It was... back to normal. Just as it had been before. Her eyes widened in emotional pain. Where was her baby? In a moment of panic, thoughts of miscarriage crossed her mind. She knew it was more than that, deep down. She placed her head on her knees, holding back the tears that threatened to come. Where was it? What was going on? Had it just been a horrible, terrible dream? She couldn't bear it. Was this some sort of sick joke? Sighing, she leans against the headboard, staring at the curtains. Staring at nothing. She has been looking forward to this, to tell the truth. Not the birth, obviously, but the baby itself. Someone to love her unconditionally. All hers. It wouldn't have needed a father. It would've just been her. Her and her lovely baby. A single tear snaked it's way down her cheek. This was unbelievable. She needed someone to talk to, but who? She couldn't think straight. She got up, not even bothering to change out of the quidditch shirt and sweatpants she had worn to bed. She shuffles to the bathroom, still in shock.

[TALK TO SIRIUS. HE KNOWS.]

[Alrighty. Where?]

[I'll post outside. I might have to go at any moment though as a warning so it may get paused]

[ERM YEAH THIS CAN BE AFTER TAM LEAVES]

Tam finished packing leaving a pile of baby clothes and school books on the bed. She glanced around and then levitated her trunk out.

Feeling lonely, Blaise trudged up the girls staircase, his girl emotions making it impossible for the stairs to detect he was actually a boy with one hell of a shlong they let him up. All he wanted to do was curl up with a pair of Pansys undies and be alone. He immediatly went over to Tams bed, ready to curl up on it and think about how he had fucked Pansy silly on that bed. Twice. But just as he was about to drop onto the bed he noticed how it was covered in clothes. Tams Baby clothes. Books were scattered all over the place. Her trunk... it was gone. Shit. Her clothes gone, bu not her books. Meaning, Tam was gone and she didn't intend on returning. Blaise span on his heel in a hope that it had only been recently she had left.

Draco walked in carrying Pansy and placed her on her bed. "So now we need to pack for you"