A Random Corridor

Severus walked by, his face still tear-streaked from the incident with Remus. Fuck love.

-waits for Lily-

[Oh goodness, isn't this perfect? *is reading the SBP for the first time, on top of all the drama here* >_> ]

Lily rounded a corner, wondering why she was such an indecisive idiot and why she wasn't unhappy with her decision...and saw Sev. For the second time, she wasn't sure if she could face him...but had to. She smiled for a moment. "Hi, Sev!" before her face fell, seeing that he had been crying. "Sev..what happened? "

Severus looked at Lily, unsure how to answer. What happened? Let's see, I fucked my best friend's ex boyfriend, I threw a plate at Tam when I found out she'd seen everything, I didn't kill James, I've mistreated Remus, oh, and I raped a girl and nearly killed her. That's a pleasant conversation. "Um... stuff?" he said, trying to smile at her and failing miserably.

[OMG LILY SBP... IT WAS AMAZING! Also.. you don't have to worry about smut.. since there was nothing, pretty much, except for a really, really, really tiny bit at the end. -was highly disappointed-]

[hahaha Sev that would not be a very pleasant conversation at all...

I really have to find time to reread the SBP <3 LOVED IT]

[ME TOO OMG, THE GILLYWEED CHAPTER <3 <3 <3]

Can't be any worse than your opinion would be of what happened with me. Instead of speaking her thoughts, she just gave him a hug. "It'll be alright, eventually, Sev. Things always are, no matter what happens. I know you think i'm silly, if nothing else, for believing this...but bad things can't happen forever. "

[Let's ignore, but mourn in silence, how untrue that last statement is for Severus Snape. ]

[Also, I am quite enjoying it. At part 21b. Also, though both of you will hate me saying this, seeing James and Lily happy-ish and brilliant characters in themselves helps me not be annoyed at James so Lily can be less annoyed and I can keep my crown and not be indecisive. Sorry Sev. ]

[*dies*]

[... You will change your mind. You will remember how much of an ass James is.]

Severus managed a real smile as she hugged him. He loved being close to her, and he missed being near her. "I hope not, Lily," he said, feeling a little less hopeless. "How've you been? I'm sorry I never exactly responded to your letter... I kind of forgot about actually writing back. Too busy restraining myself from committing a gruesome homicide," he said, half-joking. "You okay? He hasn't hurt you or anything has he?!" he said panicking suddenly as he was struck with paranoia again.

[But I'm so indecisive, and sick and tired of being indecisive at the same time. -_- It's annoying James and I think 'Mione as well as myself xD]

Lily smiled slightly, sadly. "No, Sev, he hasn't hurt me. He...he did get a bit frustrated though. That I never gave him a chance. Saw his temper for a bit, unfortunately after I'd spent a good while more or less exploding at him. Not much fun...but, resolved, in the end."

Severus gazed at her, suddenly feeling extremely anxious. "Resolved how?" he asked, unable to mask the fear in his voice. "Resolved as in you slapped him and told him to go die, right?!"

Kissed him..slapped him...kissed him again... She shrugged slightly, hiding the words she didn't want to say in casual movement. "Slapped him I certainly did. Twice. "

Severus breathed a sigh of relief, hugging her again. "He'll stay away from you then?" he asked hopefully, sincerely wishing he'd not restrained himself from doing worse damage last night.

Lily turned away. God...what can I say that won't make you despise me within an inch of my being and kill James within an inch of not being able to reach the afterlife?
"I don't know. Probably not."

[She doesn't want to tell, obviously...and any late replies are being I'm replying in between reading and feeling quite in character.]

Severus knew she wasn't saying something, and he had a feeling he wasn't going to like it. "Lily, do you have something you need to tell me?" he asked nervously as he reached for her hand, touching it gently.

[*sobs* NUUUUUUUUU don't kill him!!! Poor Sev....the emo corner's going to become his new home...]

Lily sighed, and bit her lip, knowing she'd never be able to live with herself if Sev didn't know. If he hated her...she wouldn't like it, not a bit, but she wouldn't be wondering if he would.

"I..I suppose there is....though you won't like it, but please, don't leap up or hurt yourself or something, or someone, else...." She took a breath, closing her eyes and steeling herself before meeting Sev's eyes. "We kissed, Sev. Then I kissed him...the second time without anger. He...he can be quite a jerk..but he's gone though a lot for me...and I'm tired of hating and yelling and arguing...and Sev, god Sev please...don't kill him, even if you can't, understandably, ever forgive me.."

[He will at least get a kiss on the cheek at some point...while she's in her right mind. Just so you know...even if it's her way of saying goodbye, she will. ]

[*gets the smelling salts ready for when Sev faints*]

[Tonight, you mean? Or another time?]

Severus' jaw dropped, his mind unable to process what he'd just heard. Did she just... she did... oh.. oh Merlin. He stared at her, horrified, his eyes wide with shock as he fumbled for the words to say. "How, Lily? How could you..." he said weakly, feeling quite faint. This couldn't be real, it couldn't, she couldn't... She wouldn't! She knew what he was, how he'd hurt her. Surely this was all some sick prank?

[*fans Sevvy* Breath Sev Breath!! ]

[Probably, hopefully, not tonight. So some other time...unless this is the end of their friendship which I am MOST sincerely hoping it is not.]

Lily put her hands over her face and shook her head turning away from him. "I knew you'd hate me for it Sev, I knew you wouldn't. I can't tell you anything to make you hate me more, as i'm not fully sure where James and I stand, but thats enough, I'm sure, for you to wish you'd never met me and my ways i'm sure you now despise."
How could he forgive me, for not hating his enemy, i'm a positively horrid friend, but James...James has been so determined and hasn't really ever hurt me except that time he left and...god...i'm going to lose Sev as a friend and I really really really don't want that to happen.

[*wonders vaguely if Lily should run off, or kiss his cheek and then run off, or just sit and hope all is well*]

[No, it's not the end of their friendship, I'm NOT letting that ever happen. But I've been working on getting him to go to the dark side lately, obviously.]

Severus glared at her- when had she become so utterly stupid? "Lily, how dense can you possibly be?" he said coldly, the disbelief evident in his voice. "You honestly think I'd hate you for this? How could I, Lily? Why the hell should I hate you, when it's me who's failed you, as a friend? Lily, god, Lily... how can you do this to yourself? How can you put yourself through this, when you know what he is, what he's done? You can't possibly expect anything to come of this, but you being hurt again," he said softly, choking back a sob. He reached out and touched her cheek gently. "There's nothing I can say to make you change your mind, is there?" he asked, knowing full well what the answer would be.

[Thank God or any gods and Rowling herself. This is a deviation, no more, for myself as the Queen I am...on AWF, their friendship shall not die, no matter what the Marauders have to say about it.]

Lily couldn't help it, she was so relieved she threw her arms around Sev's waist, hugging him tightly. "Oh you're a marvelous friend, Sev. You haven't failed as a friend, I have. I've failed for liking him at all and for letting his perserverance get to me when I promised you it wouldn't...I'm so glad you don't hate me Sev...so glad. I can't help it..Maybe i'll get hurt again, hopefully not." She looked down for a minute, then sadly into his eyes. "No...nothing to change my mind....I'm still your friend...still Lily, Sev. Just not-hating-James Lily. " She tried to smile, tried to joke a bit, anything to make him less sad.

[Remus has nothing to say about Lily and Sev's continuing friendship, in fact Remus would like Lily to know that it should be more than just a friendship but obviously that isn't going to happen...*sobs*]

Severus couldn't take this anymore. Not after Tam, not after Remus, after Draco, after Adrian, after all that had happened these past few days. He needed to be away, to be alone, to get away from her, and all her words. He pushed her away, thinking that the only time he remembered feeling quite so much pain was when Remus had left him. He looked into her viridian eyes, knowing full well that she could see the hurt in his own. "It kills me to know that you'll put yourself through this, when we both know this can only end one way," he whispered, a single tear sliding down his cheek. "You have no idea how much it hurts to know that there's nothing I can do but watch and wait while you get yourself hurt again. Fine, do what you will. Let him fool you. Let him hurt you. Just know that I'll be waiting with open arms," he said before turning on his heel and walking away, the sound of his tears just barely audible.