Zonko's Joke Shop

I'D SAY I HOPE FILCH CATCHES YOU AND MAKES YOU LICK THE OWLERY CLEAN, BUT THAT DIRTY TONGUE OF YOURS WOULD JUST FOUL IT UP!

HAH. AS IF FILCH WOULD EVER CATCH ME.
BETCHA WISH YOU WERE HERE, LILY DEAR. YOU COULD BE MY HOT HEAD GIRL AND I'LL BE YOUR NAUGHTY RULE-BREAKER.
I'LL EVEN LET YOU USE MAMA'S LITTLE LOVE HAND.

SORRY BLACK, THAT POSITION IS TAKEN.
RUN ALONG AND PLAY WITH YOUR FILTHY LITTLE TOYS BY YOURSELF.

OOOOH SOMEONE'S BEEN NAUGHTY! LOOKS LIKE I'LL HAVE TO USE THE LOVE HAND ON YOU INSTEAD!
OH HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED!
DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T WANT ME TOO, EVANS.

KEEP YOUR NOSE OUT OF MY BUSINESS.
AND BLACK THE ONLY WAY I WANT YOU IS FAR FAR AWAY!

FAR FAR AWAY FROM YOUR BELOVED BOYFRIEND? BUT DARLING, IT'S SO MUCH BETTER IF WE LET HIM WATCH.
WHATEVER. I AM HAVING THIS AWESOME PARTY AND YOU'RE SO NOT INVITED AND I'M GOING TO GET SO SLOPPY DRUNK IT'S RIDICULOUS AND YOU CAN'T EVEN STOP ME HAR HAR HAR!
ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER, LOVE. YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR MIND WHEN YOU GET BACK.

NO, YOU MORON - MYSELF AND ANYONE I ACTUALLY LIKE FAR FAR AWAY FROM YOU!
SURE, SOUNDS FANTASTIC. YOU GET YOURSELF SLOPPILY, DISGUSTINGLY DRUNK AND THEN GO GIVE THE WHOMPING WILLOW A HUG.
GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
AND JUST FOR GOOD MEASURE, LET'S DO AN EXPERIMENT - YOU CAN STAY AWAY FROM ME FOREVER, AND THEN AFTER THAT WE'LL SEE IF THAT RIDICULOUS SAYING IS TRUE.

ME AND THE WILLOW ARE BUDS. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.
YOU CAN'T STAND NOT BEING AROUND ME. ALL THAT DEVIANT BEHAVIOR YOU FEEL THE NEED TO FIX.
I JUST SPANKED A FIFTH YEAR. YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
SO THERE.

I HOPE THAT FIFTH YEAR PRESSES CHARGES, YOU DOLT.
AND I ASSURE YOU, ANY SO-CALLED DEVIANT BEHAVIOUR I NEED TO FIX WILL NEVER, EVER INVOLVE YOU.

I'M GONNA GO TELL MCGOOGLES YOU'RE OUT HAVING SEX WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND.
THEN YOU WON'T EVEN BE HEAD GIRL ANYMORE.
YOU JUST GOT SERVED

A) YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I AM.
B) YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING.
C) WE'RE SIXTH YEARS SO I AM NOT HEAD GIRL ANYWAY.

[Hey Cat, check the years, make sure she's actually Head Girl.
Nah, nah, it'll be fine. Being Head Girl's her thing, anyway.
D'OH]

A) LOVE ALWAYS FINDS A WAY. ALSO STALKERS (SUCH AS ONE LOVESTRICKEN JAMES POTTER)
B) YOU'VE LEFT TOWN WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND, WHAT ELSE ARE YOU DOING?
C) OH GOOD. LEAVES THE SPOT OPEN FOR ME, THEN. YOU KNOW MCGOOGLES FANCIES ME, ANYWAY

[LOL <3]


A) WELL NOW I REALLY SEE THE SENSE IN GIDEON'S SUGGESTION OF A RESTRAINING ORDER FOR POTTER. MAYBE I'LL GET ONE FOR YOU JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE.
B) OH LET'S SEE, GETTING AWAY FROM YOUR PRAT OF A BEST FRIEND WHO SEEMS TO JUST LOVE MAKING ME CRY
C) NO NEED TO WAIT TIL NEXT YEAR, BLACK. IF YOU'RE THAT DEAD SET ON WEARING SKIRTS, JUST COME ON OUT OF THE CLOSET AND BE YOURSELF.

RESTRAINING ORDER? BABY I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE INTO RESTRAINTS. MIGHT BE AWKWARD WITH JAMES IN THERE TOO. CAN'T YOU JUST HAVE YOUR SEXY WAY WITH US ONE AT A TIME?
HEY, I WAS REALLY DRUNK THAT TIME! THAT DOESN'T COUNT.

BLACK, YOUR INABILITY TO UNDERSTAND BASIC CONCEPTS ASTOUNDS ME.
AND THAT ONE TIME WAS A SIGN. YOU KNOW IT WAS.

GOTTA GO LILS. TIME TO SHOW SOME SLYTHERINS WHO'S BOSS.
LOVE MY NEW TOY, BY THE WAY.
MAYBE WHEN I'M DONE WITH IT I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU SO YOU CAN GET AS FREAKY AS I KNOW YOU ARE WITH GIDEON.
TA!