Zonko's Joke Shop

Ron noticed that he had seemingly offended her somehow. He blushed scarlet and rushed to correct his mistake. "Not that he can't be different!" he amends hastily. "Maybe he's different than the rest of them. I dunno, I've never met him. I shouldn't have judged." He actually didn't really think that Lucius would be any different, but he didn't want to upset his new girlfriend.

"Well, I don't know." She said with a small shrug and smiled at him. "I've only hung out with him 3 times so who knows." She said, shrugging slightly. "Maybe he's the kind of person that is different around people he knows well and people he's just met." She said nodding as she smiled at her new boyfriend. "Or maybe he was just nice to me because I'm a hot girl."

"Maybe," Ron agreed easily. What would happen if he found out what happened between Ginny and Lucius? I feel like something might die, or something. Ron grabbed some cool prank off the shelf and paid for it. Whoot. "Did'ja want anything?" he asked, makin up words like a boss.

I feel like Ron would murder Lucius if he found out. She shook her head looking around. "No...I feel like if I got something I would use it on some innocent person since I barely know anybody here, let alone any people I don't like, and then I would feel terrible." She said with a light laugh.

Ron chuckled. "Fair enough. We'll save it until you've met everyone and gotten sick of all of them. Do you want to go to the Three Broomsticks or something?" he asked out of nowhere. "I could personally do with a warm butterbeer right about now."

Melanie laughed and scrunched her face up slightly. "Yeah! That sounds delicious!" She said grinning. "I love the Three Broomsticks." Even though she had only been there once. Noob.

And they went to the Three Broomsticks.

Teddy lead the way into the joke shop, turning again to check on Claire. He really would not appriciate being hit in the back of the head with a Dungbomb or anything of the likes, so he kept looking back her to make sure she hadn't picked up anything too unpleasant. He saw Hiccough Sweets, Sugar Quills, Nose-Biting Teacups, and a wide variety of things that must have been new since the last time he'd been here. "I haven't been in here in a while," He told her, finishing his thoughts out loud, "It's a shame really, the Sugar Quills really are a great idea."

Claire had already made Teddy smell awful in the previous store and it wasn't as if they didn't already look a little out of place what with the purple sugary powder having tinted their hair and clothes. She smiled when she saw the Sugar Quills, remembering how she used to nibble on them in class when the professors weren't paying attention. She may be studious, but she could be defiant too. "I love Sugar Quills! My aunt mails me them as often as she can, but recently she's stopped. I need to stock up too or I'll die in all those boring historical classes. I can't stand them sometimes. Lectures aren't what I'd call 'fun.'"

Teddy couldn't help but agree that lectures were dull. The hands-on learning they did in other classes was much more intresting. Of course, the hands-on approach was a little difficult in history classes. "They're life savers." He nodded, already looking to another shelf. "Frog Spawn Soap," He said, pointing at what looked like any normal bar of soap, "Wouldn't you like to be taking a bath and be suddenly assulted by a family of frogs?" He smiled at her innocently.

Claire laughed, looking at some of the products used to play pranks on people. She made note to grab some Sugar Quills before they left and leaned back against one of the displays when he showed her the frog soap. "Erm, I'd pass. Or pass out. One of those. I'm not the biggest fan of showering with frogs. Don't get any ideas, Lupin," she added with a mock threatening look.

Teddy laughed, "Me? I never have ideas." He continued walking through the store, "Whoever thought to set this place up not fifteen minutes from the school was a genius. How many things from this store have I seen confiscated over the years?" He stoped at one of the things he had never seen before and examined it. It was like a regular watch and for the life of him he could find out how it was a joke. He shrugged and moved past it. "This is my favorite," He told her, holding up what looked like some of the candy that they had seen in Honeyduke's and smiling cheerfully, "It makes you turn completely blue. Lasts a whole day."

"I'm pretty sure the owners thought of that, Teddy," Claire said sarcastically, flashing him a smirk. She bit her lip and ran her index finger over the edges of the displays, gazing at all the items. She paused and glanced back at Teddy when she realized she was a little ways ahead of him because he had stopped to look at a particular product. She walked back over and tilted her head. "It turns you blue? Well, at least I could show some House pride if it turned me blue. I could pretend I was in a, um, very spirited mood." She adjusted her hat and smiled up at him. "What would you think of me if I was blue?"

"I'd think that you got the date of the Quidditch game wrong." Teddy smiled, "Or that you're incredibly proud of your house and maybe a little touched in the head." He shrugged, "I think that it would go well with your blonde hair, if that makes you feel any better. Blue is definitely one of your better colours." He held the little candy out to her, smiling pleasantly, "Want to try it? It tastes like blueberries. Or so I hear."

"Oh, really? Maybe I am a little touched out of the head even without your turn-me-blue candy," Claire laughed and picked up one of the silly hats that didn't do anything at all except make the wearer look ridiculous. The hat fell over her eyes just a tad and she lifted the right side up with her left thumb to peek at Teddy with her right eye. "I appreciate the love of my complementary colors. I promise to wear blue more often. And no, no thank you," she said backing into the display before taking a step forward. "I'm not sure I'm auditioning for the Blue Man Group just yet."

"I wouldn't be surprised..." Teddy mumbled, a smile on his lips. He eyed the hat she picked up with apprehension, preparing for any possible outcome if she put it on his head. Instead, she put it on herself and he couldn't help but smile at how ridiculous it looked. That was the point, he supposed. "Blue is my favourite colour," He told her. When he wasn't at school, he had a particular shade of blue he liked to change his hair to. After seven years, though, he had gotten a little tired of people asking him to change into weird things so he normally kept his natural hair colour. "Don't be silly," He laughed, "You have to be bald to join the Blue Man Group. And that is a look you could not pull off."

Claire took the hat off and set it back on the rack it had been on. She looked in the glass case at her reflection to make sure she didn't have any hat hair before she turned back to Teddy. "Is it? I like the color purple myself, but you know that is a mixture of blue and red so I guess it's sort of similar." She smiled and shrugged her shoulders. She wondered briefly what he would look like with blue hair and figured she could probably ask him, but then she thought that he probably gets asked that question a lot and it wouldn't be very nice of her to. Instead, she kept her mouth shut about that topic and sighed. "You're right. I can't join because of my lovely locks of blonde hair. Now whatever will I do as a career!? I was hoping to marry one of those blue men, you know," she said jokingly.

"You could still marry one, I'm sure. Unless you're concerned that being blue is contagious. That's probably how they get new members. Except it only effects bald people." Teddy took this under serious consideration, "So I suppose you're safe unless you plan on going bald later in life which, by the way, I wouldn't suggest. You have nice hair." He smiled and walked further into the store, looking this way and that at items of various levels of hilarity. He found himself back up at the front of the store and picked up a few Sugar Quills for each of them. Looking back at her he asked, "Did you want anything else?"

Claire laughed. "I wouldn't want to randomly turn blue one day. That would be awful. And what if the baldness was contagious? I couldn't handle it at all. Maybe I'll stick to finding someone my own species." She blushed slightly when he commented on her hair and her hand quickly went to the side of her head that wasn't visible to Teddy, running her fingers through it. "Thank you! So do you, just saying!" She wasn't sure what else to say so she followed him to the Sugar Quills and smiled. "Nope. I'm set. You?"

"I'm all set." Teddy said. He walked up to the counter and put their Sugar Quills on it, pulling out his money for the third time that date. He handed her one of the bags and headed towards the door, not wanting their conversation to be overheard by the shop keeper. "I had a lot fun," He smiling and couldn't help using the standard end-of-date speech, "We should do this again sometime."

Sirius ran in, spotted a Mama's Little Love Hand, and made a beeline for it. He had snuck out of school just for this purpose. Also to get some booze, but that was a secondary purpose. "EXCUSE ME SIR, I WOULD LIKE TO BUY THIS LOVE PADDLE," he announced to the cashier. To his credit, the guy didn't even blink. After paying, Sirius stuck the handle in his back pocket and stalked around Hogsmead for a while to flaunt his new purchase.

Then he bought some booze because I mean come on it's Sirius.

SIRIUS BLACK, IF I HADN'T LEFT HOGWARTS FOR A WEEKEND IN LONDON WITH MY BOYFRIEND WITHOUT PERMISSION, YOU WOULD BE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE RIGHT NOW.
SO
MUCH
TROUBLE
RIGHT
NOW

YOU PUT THAT LOVE PADDLE RIGHT BACK WHERE YOU FOUND IT, YOU DEGENERATE.

NO. I NEED IT TO HAZE THE RED HEADED KIDS.
LOOKS LIKE THAT'S YOU, EVANS.
IF YOU WEREN'T IN LONDON WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND, MAMA'S LITTLE LOVE HAND WOULD DEFINITELY BE ALL UP ON THAT HOT ASS RIGHT NOW.

THAT'S FOUL.
THE SECOND I SPOT THAT THING, I AM CONFISCATING.
AND NEVER EVER COMMENT ON ANY PART OF MY BODY EVERY AGAIN!

GEE, TOO BAD YOU'RE IN LONDON. I GUESS YOU CAN'T STOP ME FROM HAZING ALL THESE CUTE BABYFACED FIRST YEARS.
ALSO I'D MAKE A COMMENT ON YOUR CUP SIZE IF I COULD THINK OF ONE, BUT I'M TOO BUSY CHASING UNDERCLASSMAN WITH MAMA'S LITTLE LOVE HAND. TA!