The Fireplace

Snape struts in after sex ed to think about doing naughty things to Lucius Malfoy.

Lucius walked in with his pimp cane, still not over his hangover. He sees Sev, the guy from the party and sex ed class. "Hey," he grumbles as he sits down to massage his tumbles. "Some party, huh?"

Severus grins when he sees hot stuff and his cane show up. "Some party indeed. Didn't see you hanging around too much- where'd you head off to? I was a bit busy being wasted," he said with a laugh.

"Urrgg," he groans. "I should have never came back. I woke up this morning next to a mudblood. A mudblood! That firebeer must have been some serious shit to make me do that."

Severus has NEVER slept with a mudblood- just one blood traitor named George- and gags. "YOU DID NOT. OH MY GOD EW THAT IS DISGUSTING LIKE EW REALLY HOW DRUNK WERE YOU ?!?!?!?!?!"

"I had, um, six or seven bottles? Maybe eight. I'm having the house elves burn the sheets. And I took an hour long shower. I still feel dirty about it. What if I have some sort of muggle disease now!?" He groans again and rests his head in his hands. "Oh. And it gets worse. Not only is she a disgusting, filthy mudbleh," he says sticking out his tongue, not able to say it. "She's my cousin's girlfriend. Yeah. I went there. Oops."

"... You slept with your cousin's girlfr- WAIT, YOUR COUSIN'S DATING A MUDBLOOD? Ew, that's blasphemy. I wouldn't even consider him family. You're a MALFOY, for fuck's sake..." Snape looks totally grossed out. "Man, eight bottles is nothin- oh wait, you're not me- that's probably like eighteen bottles to me- at least you were wasted. Blame it on that."

"I'm going to be sick," he mumbles. "A mudblood. What was I think- oh wait. I wasn't thinking. But yeah, I flipped a bitch when I found out he was dating her. It's a disgrace to the family." He lips twitch into a small smile. "Actually, if he finds out about what she did he might break up with her sorry, mudblood ass."

Severus chuckled. "True enough. Was she at least a good fuck?"

"Umm," he scratches his head trying to remember He was pretty damn wasted, and he hit his head with his pimp cane when he woke up this morning. His memory wasn't so great right now. "She must have been. I don't just fuck anyone. She wasn't bad looking...for a mudblood. I was drunk though, and she was pissed off so ummm...yeah. One thing led to another, which is how these things always go."

"Pissed off? What's she got to be pissed off about, she's dating a Malfoy!" he scoffed.

Regulus is conveniently walking into the room now, walking right by the two guys talking but not really listening as he sits down on a chair by the fire, smiling to himself about Viktor.

Lucius doesn't notice the other guy walk in. "She should be grateful to fucking be allowed at this school," he mumbles. "People like her don't deserve to be here. But yeah, pissed off. I told her about something her boyfriend did. I was talking to Scorpius and he just ditched me to go to his dorm with that Gellert fellow. Funny, I thought Scorpius was the straight sort too. Didn't know he swung that way."

"Oooh, Gellert Grindelwald, the hot, skinny blonde one? Don't blame him. Though, hey- just saying, more than half the guys around here swing that way, or both ways. You can never tell, around AWF Hogwarts," he said with a grin. "So, which way do you swing, Lucius?"

Regulus promptly chokes on the water he was drinking from his bottle and splutters it out all over himself. Scorpius- ditched- dorm- GELLERT? That had to be some sort of sick joke, surely there was some misunderstanding- that was preposterous...

Lucius smirked. "Oh, wouldn't you like to know," he said as he subconsciencly running a hand down his pimp cane. "Though I think you've made it pretty obvious which way you swing." He turns to see the whiney bitch, Regulus, choking. Freak. He turns his attention back to Sev, still smirking. Luna's inner Viktor flips a bitch for typing that.

Severus rolls his eyes at Regulus as well. "What, you have a problem with dudes with other dudes? Because my gaydar goes off whenever you come within fifty feet of me, and I don't like hypocrisy." He turns away to face Lucius. "Hey, I don't see the point in playing coy. It's just not my style," he said simply, his lip curling into a slight smile as he strokes his cane.

"NO! I don't! I'm quite proud of my boyfriend, thanks," he fumes, trying to pull himself together. "I'm sorry- but did you say something about Scorpius and Gellert, or was I hearing things? I didn't mean to eavesdrop- you're both just... rather loud," he said awkwardly.

Lucius smirked. "Not your style, hmm? Funny. I struck you as the kind of guy who liked games," he said with a wink. He turned back to Regulus. Another gay guy? Then again it was Regulus. Not surprising. He stared at Reg with a bored look. "Yeah. Scorp said something about examining Gellert's dick. They ran off to his dorm so Scorpius could show Gellert his ropes. Didn't know my cousin had it in him," he said with a chuckle.

Regulus gaped and looked like he might be sick. "Right. Thanks. I... gotta go. Puke," he said, and promptly ran out of the room.

Severus ignored Reg and turned to Lucius again. "Games? Oh, I like games. I just don't like the kind that involve beating around the bush, and avoiding any actual fun. The kind of games I like involve closed doors, if you catch my drift- unless you're feeling kinky- I'm not opposed to leaving the doors wide open, either," he said with a wink. "Or no doors at all."

Lucius sat back on the couch, still smirking the Malfoy smirk. "Those games. I like the way you think, Severus. Honestly, the doors don't really matter to me either. I don't pay much attention to them during games anyway."

"I say that if you're paying attention to the door, somebody's not doing something right," he said with a grin. "Either you're not playing the game well, or you need more of a challenge."

"I think you'd find me quite the challenge," he says with a wink. "Lucius Malfoy does not come easy. He has more than enough levels to keep your focus off the doors."

"Oh, I like a challenge," he said swiftly, running his eyes along Lucius' body. "Perhaps I'll have to test that hypothesis of yours sometime."