The Great Beyond

"So. The Big Blue... What's it like?" There was a giant, floating, yellow fish next to James' head. He answered in the only way he could.

"Um. Big. And... blue?" He took a few steps away from the fish hanging in mid air, and ran into a couch made of spooled and wrapped yarn. The hand he put out to steady himself was made of yarn, as well. Suddenly nauseated, James stumbled over a knit trash can and let some rainbow variegated yarn unravel from somewhereabouts the back of his throat, into the can.

"These are not the droids you are looking for." James was back to normal, pulling a bit of yarn out of his mouth. "These are not the droids I am looking for," he repeated, and turned to leave.

"They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!!" It was a yell from James' left. He turned to see what was going on, only to find a nerdy, mad scientist kind of guy facing him with a freeze ray.

"Look. Dude. You're not. My nemesis. My nemesis.... is Captain Hammer." James nodded vaguely and kept walking, hearing faint shouts of "WHERE IS MY SUPER SUIT!!!" and "ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!" behind him. He was almost to the door at the end of the hallway when a man patted him on the head lightly and said "That'll do, pig."

He turned and turned and whirled and spinned, moved, slide, shook, upside down, left to right, up and down, a rainbow swirl of color mixing and changing...

There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There's no knowing where we're rowing
Or which way the river's flowing
Is it raining, is it snowing,
Is a hurricane a-blowing
Not a spec of light is showing
So the danger must be growing
Are the fires of Hell a-glowing
Is the grisly reaper mowing
Yes, the danger must be growing
For the rower keep on rowing
And they're certainly not showing
Any sign of slowing -

"PRONGS!!" That was all the warning James got before a heavy, messy black haired lump tackled him to the ground. Ah. Padfoot. "Look man we gotta talk Noodle Operation. This has gotta roll out fast or Snape'll catch on. And don't even talk to me about - what're we calling this one? Whatever. That stage makeup and grand piano has to be ready to go by next week at the latest. Where've you been? Are you even paying attent - oh. Of course." Sirius looked at a point just above James' left shoulder, and James turned around to see a beautiful redhead walking towards him. Before he had a chance to say anything, she had linked her fingers with his and given him a smirk.

"Sirius, whatever you have can wait. I'm sure it's about noodle or something, and I definitely know it can't possibly be as important as what I need James for right now, so get that betrayed and hurt expression off your face, because James has to talk to his girlfriend now. Kay? Good. See you later." Sirius gaped at Lily for a moment, then jumped and ran after her and James.

"No - wait! This is important! Life and death! Noodles!" But she and James were already gone. "Damn! How does she guess these things anyway..."

Down the hall, holding hands with Lily and knowing she only dragged him away from Sirius because she wanted to hang out and possible snog somewhere Sirius wasn't, James smiled. This was definitely better than living.

Wait. What?