Wherever the Hell James Sleeps Now

James walked in and kicked a rickety chair, heading over to a comfy looking couch on the wall. He flopped down and put his head in his hands. He hadn't seen anyone in days. Not Mya or Remus, or little Kiora... thank god not Sirius or Fleur, and who the hell knew where Peter went anyway. There was Katie, but they hadn't met up again since near the whomping willow after Sirius dumped her like a douchebag. Because Sirius is a douchebag. And James hated him. Yes, James hated him. That was for sure. He couldn't stand the mere mention of Sirius' name, not the slightest thought. He hated Fleur, too. He hated them being together, and he hated them separately. Frankly, James couldn't care less if they both waltzed off a fucking cliff together. Why didn't they just take everyone else with them, as well? Wouldn't make any difference. He sighed and leaned back, putting his hands behind his head. This whole thing was fucked up. Nothing felt right. So he just sat there and let his mind wander back to the good old days before AWF when he was madly in love with a certain Lily Evans, and Sirius would never stop speaking to him over a girl (because really, Sirius could have any girl he chose and I ASKED FLEUR IF JAMES COULD ASK HER TO PROM AND SHE SAID OKAY, AND THIS WAS ALL GOING TO BE FINE AND THERE WERE PLANS TO MAKE IT SO SIRIUS WOULDN'T EXPECT TO GO WITH HER, AND THIS WHOLE CLUSTERFUCK OF A MESS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED, AND THEN YOU GUYS FUCKING RUINED IT. AND NOW IT'S ALL JAMES' FAULT), and all the marauders were together, and life was, well, as peaceful as things got at Hogwarts.

[*makes plans to go Mama Bear on James*]

*Hermione's Mama Bear senses bring her this way for whatever reason. I'm sick of making up reasons for her to go places. We all go places every day for a variety of mundane reasons, so deal with it. So the point is, Hermione and Kiora have stumbled across James. I dunno if he's asleep or awake right now, so I'm going with a generic conversation opener.*

James!!!!!!!!

"Hi Mya," James said with a little smile to her and Kiora. Yay for Mama Bear senses. James could probably use some mothering. But not from his own mama. Because she's kind of weird and he remembers he never replied to her last letter. Why was that? Oh. Yes. Because he was too busy quietly fuming at Sirius and Fleur. If hate were a curse, Sirius and Fleur would be dead by now, or at least tragically maimed and malformed. Wait what was going on again? Strange how all trains of thought these days ended with James hating Sirius and Fleur. Ah! Mya was here! "What's up?"

*Hermione smiles slightly and prepares to shift into Mama Bear Mode. Yes, it does warrant capitalization. She moves over to kiss James on the forehead and settles down next to him, handing the baby off to him for godfather cuddles.*

What's up? Could ask the same of you, you know. Your goddaughter has missed Godfather Number One as much as I have!

James held Kiora gently, smiling sort of subconsciously. He loved holding Kiora, all of what, two times so far? that he had. "Godfather Number One?" he asked curiously, a little confused. But it was a peaceful sort of confused, not a paranoid sort. He was holding Kiora, and that automatically meant that some things were right in the world, and therefore this must be. Godfather Number One was probably just some joke.

*Hermione inwardly flinches and has a lovely little daydream about throwing Remus under the hooves of a herd of stampeding thestrals for putting her in this position. She watches James with Kiora, smiling slightly at the sight, before sighing and deciding it was best just to do it quick - like ripping off a bandaid. Oooh, maybe she would put bandaids all over Remus' hairy legs while he slept, and then rip them off so he can feel what she's feeling now. Brilliant idea!*

Yeah... Number One, of two... Remus decided he wanted.... thought it would be a good idea....

*She chews her lip a little*

Bandaid, Lupin, bandaid. Make like Nike and Just Do It!

Well, he asked Sirius to be a second godfather.

James froze, still looking down at Kiora, but not paying attention to her anymore. "Oh," he said shortly. Right now, he REALLY wanted to crush something. So he gave Kiora back to Mya. "Maybe you should take her," his voice was quiet and soft, almost a whisper. Fists clenched, he took a deep breath and forced himself look up. He wouldn't yell or throw things or anything like that. No, when James was angry it was a quiet sort of dangerous. Sure, he wanted to kill Sirius Black. But it would be in the dead of night by some crafty means, not in the heat of the moment. Speaking of... Sirius fucking Black. Again. Trampling all over everything that ever made James happy. This was complete bullshit, no matter how you looked at it.

*Hermione takes Kiora back from James, rubbing the baby's back gently. She reaches out with her spare hand to grab a hold of James'.*

Yeah. I'm sorry. I had no idea until after... And I feel like I should tell you beforehand that I also plan on asking Fabian Prewett to be Kiora's godmother, too. But when Remus and I talked it out, we were both pretty clear on one thing. You're our choice for Kiora. I mean, Remus felt like it was the right thing to ask Sirius to be involved, and I feel like it's the right thing to has Fabian, but we both agree on you. And we want you to know that if anything ever happens to us - Merlin forbid - if there's ever a need, we want you to have first say in her life. That is... if you want that?

*She looks down a bit, knowing that James is hurt and angry beyond anything ever, and hoping neither he nor Kiora lose out because of it.*

[Sorry, I've been kind of putting this off. It's a little hard for me to write because my inner James is completely defeated and just wants Mya to go away so I can stash him here for weeks on end while he attempts to get over it. I completely disagree with my inner James, and at least want to continue the scene a little longer, then get him and Katie together so his life isn't COMPLETELY depressing, and then I'll think about if being friends with Sirius again is a possibility (it probably isn't, but I'll try)]

James nodded quickly, relaxing his fists because he didn't think Mya would like having her hand crushed. So. Remus, too, then. Fine. Fuck it. Whatever. Sirius could have everything. James would just go hang out with Aragog or jump off the AT or something. "I give up," he said softly. "Tell Sirius - Just - tell him he can have everything. I don't give a fuck. He can live in my house - my parents probably like him better anyway - I'll just leave. 'Sides, it smells too much like him. He can be godfather, he can have Fleur, just - tell him I give up."

[-crosses her fingers and scrunches her eyes up real tight and hopes that Mya says what I want her to say, because it's against my moral forum code to attempt to spoonfeed her, but it would make my day if this happened and it's only 2:10 AM-]

[It's ok. It's a hard scene to write. And my inner Hermione is crying, even though she refuses to go away. Despite the fact that she has no idea what to say. *hugs*]

*Hermione's eyes fill with tears because it breaks her heart to see someone she cares about so much in pain. She blinks them back quickly, her mind whirling as she tries to come up with some way to make things better. The hand holding his squeezes tightly as she thinks. She tries to choke out a laugh.*

Don't even think of it, Potter!

*It falls flat and she sighs.*

I'm sorry. But please, please don't give up on everything. You're too important. And I'm counting on you to be on my side, like you always have been, and like I'm always on yours. You are missed when you're not around, James. Gryffindor's just too quiet, it's wrong without you.

[le sigh *is lame*]

[Aww. I was hoping for "I'M NOT AN OWL" and then whatever else you wanted to say. Ah well. Also, I'm going to go to bed soon and this scene has about run its course, so let's think about wrapping up soon? I might not stick around to post to your next one, but if you had Mya leave, then I could just come back tomorrow and write a post to officially end it.]

"Sure it's not better?" James muttered bitterly. With Sirius there, sans backstabbing, pathetic, fail (James), things were probably better. Lighter. More fun. He sighed and took his hand from Mya's. "Mya, I don't care. Just - send Sirius my regards, yeah?" He sat back and looked depressing because James is depressing and I hate it but I can't fix it because my inner James won't let me because he's too depressed and just wants to be depressed all the time. And as my inner James is the most dominant inner character I have, I have to listen to him all the time and it's depressing. So. James is depressing.

[*cuddles* ok, just for you.... even though Mya doesn't want to give up so easily! ]

*Hermione sighs.*

I'm not an owl. And you might not care, but I do! So, whatever. I guess you can stay here for as long as you like, and bugger everything, yeah? Well, whenever your ready to come back to the real world, Kiora will be waiting for her godfather. Not the spare one.

*Feeling defeated and angry at the whole world right now, she gets up, kisses James on the forehead, and shuffles out with Kiora held securely in her arms.*