I am Lord Voldemort

Title says it all.
In case you live under some like, enchanted rock, I will tell you my lifes story.

December 31, 1923 was an epic day. Know why? Do you? Because on that day at around 11 pm, I came into existence.

Badass.

By the time I was 11 I could talk to snakes, make animals do what I want them to do without trainin' them, and make people hurt, if I wanted.
At age 15 I was basically the man. I set a monster loose on my school and killed a girl, LOL. The next summer I killed my father and his two parents and framed my uncle for it while managing to steal some stupid family heirloom, no big deal.
After that I was such a little rebel and made my own army and started killing people, it was awesome, and then that little baby made me disappear. Luckily I totally showed him and killed him a few weeks ago.

These days, I spend all my time as a womanizer, an avid Nutella fan and luring people onto the dark side with humor and sweets.

All in all, my life is awesome. And you will love me. I demand you do.

We already love you! *hugs*
And I got us tickets to Sweden to find snorkacks! WE WILL FIND THEM!

[You make my life sometimes. I swear!]

SNORKACK! *puts on Snorkack hat*

Oh yeah! I forgot *puts on snorkack hat and leg warmers*

Leg warmers are for sexy people. *pulls on her own*

DADDY!!!!!! *glomps* I MISSED YOU!!!!!!!

-glares at Tam for still being pregnant-

Wow.... I've gained some respect for you. You got a lot done

Thank you, young ginger.

I kind of read that in a jedi voice just for the record. As in "Thank you young padawan"

*glomps* MASTER!!!! Wolfy has missed you! Do you still love your wolfy? *googly-wolfy eyes*

[haha Voldy you crack me up you really do. so funny]

*hugs daddy completely oblivious*