The Fireplace

He moved his head to the side quickly as she threw the first vase at him. "Yo bitch, just cool it for a mo!" he says giving her a glare as she picks up the second vase. "Don't you be throwin' dat shit at me again! You need to calm yourself and dat as of yours gurl! Be careful or you may be losing dem acrylics if you be wiping dat big ass head of yours too fast all 'round da place. Listen," he says sighing and glancing around the room to make sure no one was around. Last thing he needed was for da brothas to be hearing him apologizing to his girl. No way would he let his brothas know that he is whipped good. "Imma tell you dis once, I'm sorry. I ain't tryna start no beef wid you 'ight now. I jus' be wantin' ta spend some time wid you gurl. Das all."

"OH WELL IN DAT CASE," Faye sets the vase back down on the table and gives it a small, ghetto-luving pat. She looks back over at Scorpius and bobs her head like a gangster, "If ya didn't wanna start no beef, ya shouldn't have been a little dickface," she replied, flipping her hair, "But I love ya and all, so, like, I guess if ya can get ya ass ovah hurr and actually accomplish dat shit dat ya want, I can forgive yah and spend time wit you. I don't even currr dat much about zis shit. I mean, why we been buggin' one anuthah anyway?"

"Yo, I'm sorry boo," he says. He slowly pushes himself up from the couch, makes sure that his pants are still hanging so that they are nearly on the ground, and walks over to her. "Le's jus' be forgettin' dis shit? Aight? I'm sorry fo bein' an ass and hollerin' at chu. You forgive me gurl?"

"I forgive ya, I do, but yah lookin' likea fool wit ya pants on da ground..." Faye grins and pats him on the shoulder.


AND IN A PUFF OF GHETTO SMOKE, THE GHETTO COUPLE DISINTEGRATES AND IS GONE. LIKE, OMG.
WHERE'D DA FUCK DEY GO?

Blaise walks in, with one hand down his pants, and his hips thrust forward like he was to lazy to stand tall. He chews some gum loudly. "Hey, blud?" He calls, "Scorp, mateeeee. You 'ear?"

Narcissa is sorry if she's interrupting something, but walks down to the fireplace and sits down.

Severus walks downstairs in his tux, on his way to prom, but stops dead in his tracks when he sees Narcissa. He runs up to her in a panic. "Cissa! I NEED YOU! LIKE NOW! EMERGENCY!"

[... oh my god your avatar, cissa... -dies-]

[What?! I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY.]

Narcissa blinks and looks at Severus. "Hi, Sev!" she says with a confused look. "What's up?"

[ADFLAGIH YES IT'S PRETTY. IT'S FUCKING GORGEOUS.]

"I'm an idiot. I did some really, really, really stupid shit. Like, REALLY STUPID. Like, I told Pansy the least of it, and she already wants to kill me. I cheated on Lily. Twice. With two different guys."

[Sorry. Computer is being a fucktard today. JESSICA STAM IS GORGEOUS. And thank you!]

Narcissa blinked. "What?" she asked. "I'm sorry, can you repeat that? I clearly misheard you."

"I got drunk and kissed Antonin Dolohov. Then when I was freaking out about it, George Weasley walked in, and started flirting with me. About thirty minutes later we were fucking on the couch."

[Where were the seme/uke quizzes you took?]

[semeuke.com HERE'S THE DIRECT LINK HERE, IF YOU PRESS THIS TEXT THING.]

"But... But... You..." she sputtered. "But... BUT WHY?! What happened between you two?!"

[... Sadistic Seme. -is not surprised-]

"Nothing! I love Lily! But but but she's so... BORING. And I'm Severus! I need exciting things! ... I'm Severus Snape, Cissa. If I'm not getting any, I go through withdrawal!" Severus flailed about wildly, looking rather ridiculous in his tux. "... And I kinda sorta have maybe had a crush on George since I met him forever ago. And for all this time I thought he was straight, but when he started flirting... well, one thing led to another and... it was awesome."

[FABIAN IS A FLAMING UKE. And I'm a Clueless Uke. Which I'm angry about. *kicks*]

"Severus! Now is not the time to be talking about how amazing some guy was in bed!" Narcissa groaned. "Does Lily know?"

"KNOW!?? OF COURSE NOT! IT JUST HAPPENED! LIKE AN HOUR AGO!"

-insert wild flailing-

"WHAT?!" Narcissa stood up now. "WHAT-- BUT, I--- DIDN'T-- I THOUGHT..." she took a deep breath. It wouldn't help anyone if she was freaking out. "Alright. I've got to calm down. So, let me get this straight. You kissed Dolohov, then fucked Weasley? Like an hour ago?" she asked.

"No, no. I kissed Dolohov a few nights ago, on the astronomy tower. And I was gonna just leave it at that and forget about it. BUT JUST NOW LIKE AN HOUR AGO. WITH GEORGE."


-FLAIL-

Narcissa shut her eyes and counted to ten. "Alright. So, what do you feel towards these two men?"

"... I don't know. Um, Tony's fucking hot. And has a great package. OH NO DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, IT JUST SO HAPPENS I MET HIM IN THE SHOWERS IS ALL!" Severus facepalms. "... And George... I don't even know. I don't really even know him that well, we're just long term acquaintances- but I won't lie, I have the biggest crush on him! I can't help it, he's so... redhead?"

Narcissa looked at him, a bit skeptically, wondering if his tie was on a bit too tight. "And what about Lily? How do you feel about her now?"

"Lily? I love Lily. You know that. But, but, she never wants to DO anything! I can't help it! I'm used to getting laid on a regular basis!"

[just so you know. i still fucking hate you for yesterday. that is all <3]

Narcissa raised her eyebrows teasingly. "Wow, never thought I would've seen the day Severus Snape was a player," she said with a laugh. "But, seriously, I think... I mean, I think Lily's going to make you make an ultimatum. Like, you're going to have to choose between her and sex. Unless you get her to have sex with you, that is. Have you tried asking her for it?"

"... Cissa? Do you not remember meeting her? Not happening, Narcissa. Fuck. Sex, or Lily? FML I FEEL LIKE JOEY FROM FRIENDS TRYING TO CHOOSE BETWEEN FOOD AND SEX!"