Pigfarts (Continued from 1.0/2.0)

Pansy figured that was the case, and she eagerly awaits that day so that she can yell yes and throw her arms around him and cry and hug and kiss and then go hug their baby and have a wedding with their little ring bearer kiddo. "Oh yes, he'll make a good grocery bag carrier when he's older I'll bet." Pansy laughed, always happy to think about the future with her boys. She sighed, her boys. The sound of that made her want to just smile forever. "Aye, aye, captain," she told him, setting the rest on the counter, pouring out the right amount of milk into the bowl and then picking up the egg. She then realized she had never really cracked an egg before. "Uhh," she started, but then bit her lip, determined to do it without asking or messing it up. She figured she ought to just hit it against something to crack the shell, so she knocked it against the inside of the bowl. It shattered, of course, because she hit it quite a bit harder than was necessary. Her eyes widened and she quickly picked out all the pieces of shell and piled them up next to the bowl. "Right, here you go." She grinned, trying not to laugh as she passed him the bowl of milk and egg.

He couldn't surpress a small laugh from escaping his mouth when he saw the egg shell broken in the bowl. "Yeah, most people don't like eating the shell," he teased as she began picking out the pieces. "Now, if there's shell in my pancakes, I am completely blaming you," he said, taking the small bowl from her that had the milk and egg. Pouring it right into the large bowl full of other ingredients, he then grabbed a wooden spoon and began mixing. "Maybe we should start learning simple household spells and whatnot," he said, thinking of how much easier this process would be if he knew some spells they could use in the kitchen. Once it seemed well blended, he went over to the stove, grabbed a frying pan, and then turned it on. Thankfully the appliances in their private dorm were quite easy to figure out and Scorp hoped that was the case for all appliances on Mars. Spraying the pan with a little oil, he then waited for it to heat up. "This'll probably be the hardest part...figuring out when each side is done and not burning them," he said, pouring the first spoonful onto the pan when it was ready.

"Well," she told him, lifting her eyebrows with a grin, "if you hurt your tongue on a bit of eggshell, I promise I'll kiss it better." She watched as he stirred up their pancake mix, nodding in agreement with his statement. "That probably would make life quite a bit easier. Mother never taught me any. Granted, as a pureblood daughter, ideally I wouldn't have needed to know them, having house elves and a huge house and stuff. But I wouldn't want that at all when I've got this." She grinned at him, wrapping her arms around his middle and resting her head on his shoulder as he stirred up the batter a little more until it was well mixed. "I might go to the library later and see what they've got on household charms. Not sure how much they'll have here that's useful for us, seeing as it's Mars, but I suppose we ought to learn a little of that as well, since we're planning on living here at least until it's safe to travel with the baby. That is still the plan, isn't it?" She let go of him as he moved to the stove, following him over to watch as he heated up the pan. "Thank Merlin you've figured out this cooking thing. It's a lifesaver, truly." She went up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek, still watching him cook as if it were the most amazing thing in the world.

“Well now the idea of having a bit of eggshell in the batter is quite appealing,” he said, quite liking the idea of her kissing him better. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard my parents use one single household charm,” he said, for he, as a Pureblood, had house elves as well. Though there were times when it was a bit nice to have a house elf to do things for you, Scorpius really didn’t have an interest in getting one in the future. In fact, he rather did enjoy learning how to cook and figured that cleaning and doing laundry and whatnot couldn’t be all that bad. “That’s a good plan,” he said, knowing it would be useful to learn some things. “Hopefully the spells can be used on Earth as well. I mean, I’d really like to go back if you still want to. Mars is nice and all, but I’d much rather us raise our little boy somewhere in England. I’ve been reading a book on space travel and it seems like once the baby is around ten months or so, it should be safe. We just need to get this sort of contraption that sort of looks like a glass cage for the baby to go in. That way he’ll have his supply of oxygen,” he said, putting some batter onto the pan when it was ready. “More like I’ve got the easy cooking things figured out,” he corrected. “Let’s not forget that disastrous Shepard’s Pie I tried making the other night.”

Pansy laughed at the memory if the rather horrible dinner. "Oh yes, that was pretty bad. Well, we will just have to learn to love eating easy things for a while, won't we?" She kissed him quickly on the cheek before stepping away, pulling out some plates, butter, syrup, and other things they would need. "I really do want to go back. It's just not the same here and even with you and the baby and a nice house and everything, I don't think I could ever be really happy here. I miss home. And I'd rather him go to Hogwarts than Pigfarts." She paused a moment, leaning against the counter with her arms wrapped around herself. But what would everyone else think about their child at Hogwarts? Of course they would know who the little Malfoy's parents were, and probably what had happened between his mother and her previous husband. The Malfoys were a high profile family, it was bound to have spread by now what would have happened. Of course, no one knew she was pregnant back home, at least she didn't think so. But they couldn't try and make up false identities or something, that would be silly, and people would recognize them at Platform Nine and Three-Quarters anyway. No, they'd just have to raise him right and tell him to keep his chin up and not let anyone get to him over who his parents were. Because they loved him and they loved each other and that was all that mattered in the end. With a decisive nod and decision in her little internal battle, she continued gathering the rest of their breakfast things, pulling out the odd martian tea kettle. She pondered on using it for a moment, and decided to simply stuff it back into the cabinet. "I hate that thing. It makes the most awful noises." Instead, she pulled out two tea cups and filled them with water with a simple aguamenti charm, and then sat them on the table by their plates, using her wand and a careful heating charm to make the water steaming. Dropping in a couple tea bags, she left them there to steep, returning to Scorpius's side to check on the progress on the pancakes.

“Yeah, plus there are a handful of things that I’ve managed to make and haven’t messed up,” he said, quite proud of himself. He was glad that she was in agreement about going back to Earth, for she was right, that’s where ‘home’ was and he really did miss it terribly as well. He froze when she mentioned their son going to Hogwarts, for although it was something that was years away, it would definitely bring attention to the fact that he and Pansy had a child together. He knew that there were quite a few people who wouldn’t be pleased at all with what happened and was sure that their son wasn’t going to have quite the easy time. He actually hoped that their son wasn’t going to be sorted in Slytherin, for he was sure that that was the house that would give him the most trouble based on his parents. Glancing down, his eyes widened when he realized that he had gotten all about flipping the pancake and quickly placed the burnt mess on the plate and went about making the next one since there was no way to salvage it anyway. He glanced over at Pansy when she spoke and cringed. “Yeah, that thing makes me actually dislike having tea. I don’t understand why some of the things on Mars are so weird,” he said, turning back to the pancakes and finishing them. “Well, these didn’t turn out too bad,” he smiled. “Only burnt one which is rather impressive,” he said proudly. After turning off the stove, he took the plate over to the table and placed a few on each of their plates. “I even got a bit creative,” he grinned, placing a heart shaped one on her plate.

"Honestly," she said with a laugh in response to his comment about the things on Mars being so odd. She walked over and plucked the tea bags from their cups, dumping them into the trash so that their tea wouldn't end up too strong. She dumped in some milk and sugar for her own, and then fixed Scorpius's just the way he liked it as well. Sitting down at the table as he walked over, she grinned up at him, laughing happily as he placed a heart shaped pancake on her plate. "Oh, so fancy, Mr. Malfoy. I feel underdressed for such a fancy breakfast-lunch meal." She poured a bit of syrup over them. "You'll have to practice more shapes. I think the kiddo would like some dinosaurs, or dragons, or maybe puppies. I can't be sure yet, after all, we can't even feel him properly from the outside yet." She grinned, resting her hand on her stomach for a moment before she leaned forward and cut into her pancakes, taking a huge bite of them into her mouth. "Mmmm, these are delicious, Scorp," she told him excitedly after swallowing her first bite, which was quickly followed up by many more hungry bites.

"Yeah well, I do what I can," he said, pleased to see her happy over the shape of the pancake. "Huh, dinosaurs, dragons, or puppies...that's going to be rather difficult," he said, thinking about how in the world he could get the batter to look sort of like an animal. "You don't reckon the kid would like dragon-egg shaped pancakes, do you? I mean, then it's still an animal and it's much easier to do," he said. He knew that wouldn't be the case though, for if he were a young kid and got an egg shaped pancake, he'd think that shit was lame. "I can't wait to be able to feel him moving. Hope he isn't too much of a kicker," he said, hoping Nutter wouldn't keep Pansy up all night long. After pouring some syrup on his own pancakes, he took a large bite and smiled. "Not bad at all. I think we make quite the excellent team."

Pansy tilted her head, smirking at him. "No eggs, Scorp, that's cheating. I have faith in you to make dragons and puppies." She winked and took another bite of her pancakes, quirking an eyebrow in interest as he said he hoped Nutter wouldn't kick too much. "That would be unfortunate, wouldn't it. I can't imagine what that would be like, him in there doing little somersaults and kicking me. I do hope he's a calm one..." She glanced down at her stomach as if she could see him and implore him to be rational and not move around too terribly much, at least not when she was sleepy or concentrating on something. "I wouldn't be shocked if he's a wild one though. We are his parents after all. We should probably expect the most handful sort of child we can imagine, and then when he's better, we can be pleasantly surprised." She returned to eating her pancakes, quite enjoying the whole 'eating for two' thing. "We do make a great team. One pretty much everything. We can make lots of good things together." She laughed, her hand still resting on her belly out of habit by now as she ate some more pancakes.

Scorpius thought for a moment as to just how he was going to manage to make egg shaped pancakes. Maybe there was some sort of spell or something that could be used for such a thing. He’d definitely have to do his research when the time came. Damn, Scorpius has been doing a lot of research and reading lately. Quite shocking he wasn’t a Claw. “Hopefully he won’t give you too much of a hard time. Don’t want you to end up never sleeping because he decided to throw parties or tantrums inside of you,” he said before taking a few more bites of his pancakes. “Yeah, we definitely do. Though you can’t argue that some things were much more fun to make,” he said with a suggestive grin. Really though, shagging compared to cooking…there was no question as to which one was more fun.

"Oh, I don't know. Would you be upset if I preferred making pancakes?" She gave him a serious look for a moment, but was unable to hold it very long as a big smile crossed her face. "No, our trip here was definitely more fun. Definitely. And something I think I look forward to many more re-runs of, though perhaps with different results? That charm, good sir, needs practice." She winked and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "Though I wouldn't trade Nutter for anything. I think Nutter helped bring me my true love. I honestly don't know if we'd still have been quite this close if not for him." Reaching over, she put her hand gently on the other side of his face to turn him toward her, catching his lips in a kiss. She pulled away with a little grin. "You taste like syrup."

Scorpius just stared at her, thinking that she couldn’t quite be that serious about preferring cooking over shagging. He let out a rather relieved laugh, glad that she was just messing with him. Otherwise he seriously would have been quite concerned. “Yeah, I definitely have a horrible knack of seeing to forget the charm when in the heat of the moment,” he said with a sheepish grin. “Though, I had thought you were on the potion in all fairness… not that I should have been relying on that.” It was space and Mars that had ruined the magical effects of the potion though which then resulted in Nutter, not that he minded now though. He thought for a moment about what they possibly would have been like if Nutter hadn’t been conceived and he wasn’t quite sure. Regardless, he loved how they were working through everything and was quite unbelievably happy. He allowed himself to be pulled toward her, their lips meeting for a quick kiss and he couldn’t help but grin for he had tasted syrup on her as well. “Well so do you. Though, it tastes quite good so I really don’t have one single complaint,” he smiled.

"Oh, good." Pansy grinned and leaned in again, kissing him more deeply this time. She wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, holding the kiss a while before she finally pulled away, looking up at him almost dreamily. "I love you. So so much. And I was on the potion, actually... who knew it didn't work so well in zero-gravity, right? Anyway, I love you. And I love our son. And he's all I can think about these days, though that might just be because I'm suddenly quite more round than I've ever been in my life. And I already feel clumsy now, so who knows how it'll be when I'm actually huge." She laughed, messing with his hair again as she so frequently did.

Scorpius kissed her back, having not one single complaint when the kiss deepened and he was able to run his tongue along hers and taste the syrup even more. He let out a happy hum when the kiss ended and smiled at her softly. "I love you...I love you both," he said gently. "I suppose that they haven't thought to test the potion out in space. Well, now we can tell the company how ineffective it is out here. And no worries, I'll be here when you're so huge that you can't even manage to put your shoes on and to help you down stairs," he said, knowing he would help her at every moment. "Oh, and to help you in the bath or shower," he said with a slightly suggestive grin. He can't help himself. Scorpius just sort of has a thing for MILFs. "This flop is getting quite annoying," he said, running one of his own hands through his hair. "Don't know if I trust the hair dressers here on Mars though not to ruin my hair though," he said dramatically.

"Aw, aren't you such a gentleman. Tying my shoes for me and helping the clumsy pregnant girl down the stairs. How sweet," she teased, kissing him on the cheek again before sitting up in her seat properly once more. "And the shower and bath, well, well, you'll have to ask permission for that one." She turned her voice down to a whisper. "I think the answer is going to be yes." She turns back to her plate, finishing off her pancakes. "True. They might mess up your perfect blonde locks." She fondly played with the ends of them for a moment. "I could, if you wanted. I remember how you had it before, and I promise I won't chop it too short."

Scorpius figured that when the time came where he would have to help her in the bath and shower, he actually would have to ask. After reading many books, it became apparent that pregnant witches often had short tempers and he doubted he was going to be getting any sort of action. Not that that was a big deal, but he couldn't help being quite attracted to his very gorgeous pregnant girlfriend. He froze slightly when she offered to cut his hair, not sure how he felt about the offer. "Err, do you know how to cut hair though?" he asked. "Because what if you mess up, not saying that you will," he added quickly. "But...this is something that if you mess it up you can't go back. There's no 'undo' button with hair cutting."

Pansy made a very serious face, narrowing her eyes at him a little as she pulled her wand out and pointed it at him. "Scorpius. I am a witch. I had seven years at Hogwarts. I think I can grow your hair back if I need to." With a little concentration and a flick of her wrist, she made the bit of hair in front of his face grow longer until it covered up his eyes. Of course, that Weasley boy had used a potion to grow his hair out after his mother cut it all off, but I imagine there's a spell that would do much the same thing. If there's a spell to cause antlers to spring from someone's head, there are certainly spells to grow out hair. And despite magic being harder to perform on Mars, Pansy was quite the capable duelist back at Hogwarts and I would imagine something as simple as hair growth charms would be easy for her. "I promise I won't mess it up and we can put it back if it's awful. Don't you trust me?"

Scorpius' eyes widened when she held a wand to his face, something that hadn't been done in quite a bit of time. He forgot how scary it was to be on the other end, but he knew she wasn't going to do anything to hurt him. Letting out a small sigh of relief when all she did was grow his hair out, he pushed the blonde locks out of his eyes and smiled. "Well now that it's even longer, looks like I don't have much of a choice," he pointed out. "But yes, I do trust you. I don't see much harm in letting you at least try," he said with a shrug. "Just don't make it ridiculously short either," he said, for he went through a phase when he was fourteen where it was nearly buzzed it was so short and he never wanted his hair that short again.

"Of course not." Pansy stood up from the table, picking up her empty plate and tea cup and dumping them in the sink. "If I cut it all off, I won't have anything to grab onto," she told him with a wink, wrapping her fingers into his hair as she walked behind him, pulling his head back gently so she could kiss him sort of upside down. "Finish breakfast and then we'll see what we can do for your hair." Leaving him to his pancakes, she went back into the bedroom and grabbed his comb and pulled a chair out into the middle of the floor. She figured that would do for now, and his hair could easily be swept up off the floor and tossed afterward. Sitting down on the edge of their bed to wait, she picked up a pregnancy book and skimmed through it to pass the time.

Scorpius figured that that was quite good reasoning for her to not cut it that short. He quite liked when she would grab his hair and allowed his head to be pulled back so she could kiss him. "Mmm," he hummed after kissing her back. "I'll be done soon," he said, feeling rather excited about finally getting his hair cut. he quickly finished his last pancake, practically swallowing it whole as he didn't want to have her wait that long for him. Once he was all set, he picked the remaining dishes off of the table and placed them in the sink, knowing that if they left them in there they would be magically cleaned. Moving into the bedroom and spotting the chair, he immediately went and sat in it slightly nervously. "All ready for you," he grinned.

Pansy grinned, setting the book aside and walking up beside him. She laughed, putting her hand lightly on his shoulder and circling around the back of the chair, dragging her fingers across his shoulders as she went. Swinging her hips, she moved around in front of him, dancing slightly as she pushed her hand up through his hair and across his cheek, luring him closer to her as she stepped between his knees, turning and moving her hips in front of him. Suddenly she stopped, and pretended to be embarrassed. "Oh, that's not what you meant, was it?" Laughing, she pulled his comb from her pocket and started to run it carefully through his hair, working out any little tangles as gently as possible.

Scorpius turned his head curiously when he felt her fingers along his shoulders, not exactly sure what she was doing. His eyes widened a bit in amusement when she moved in front of him and began to dance, for though that was not what he had meant, he rather enjoyed it quite a bit more. He couldn't keep the wide grin off of his face as he watched her, which quickly turned to disappointment when she suddenly stopped. "Oh now, but that was so much better than a haircut! There's really no need to stop what you were just doing," he said, blinking innocently. "I mean, I think it was just starting to get good," he said, wondering if maybe he could talk his way out of this haircut.

"Oh?" Quirking an eyebrow at him. "Even with this belly?" She asked him, rubbing her hand over the little bulge growing there. "Only if you insist." She had rather enjoyed the smile on his face when she was dancing, and so she resumed what she had been doing, tucking the comb away for now. If he was going to agree to let her cut his hair, she felt it was the least she could do to make it an all around enjoyable experience for him. Picking up more or less where she left off, she started swaying her hips again, stopping a second later. "Scorp, if we're doing this, we're doing this right. Give me about twenty three seconds..." she hurried away from him digging through their dresser and grabbing a few things which she clung to her and hid from his view. Disappearing into the bathroom, she reappeared a moment later in one of his dressy jackets, and a pair of barely shorts, really they were more like underwear. Smirking, she crossed the space between them slowly, dancing as she went and weaving back and forth so that it took longer than it probably should have to reach him. Her hands tangled up in her hair and she looked everywhere but at Scorpius, chewing on her lip and grinning as she danced to music in her head. Turning away from him, she sank her hips low and ran her hand along the back of her thigh, wanting to turn around and look at him, but not doing it quite yet.

“Even with the belly,” Scorpius replied. “In fact, something about the fact that you’re carrying our baby makes it that much sexier,” he told her, closing his mouth when she began dancing again for he was really going to appreciate the dancing. For as quickly as it started again, it stopped and he couldn’t help but let out a noise of disappointment. Raising an eyebrow when she said to give her twenty three seconds, he began to countdown slowly, curious as to what she was doing. The short wait was definitely worth it though and his jaw dropped slightly when she reappeared in a different outfit, one that was much more revealing and made this whole thing that much sexier. His eyes remained locked on her body, watching as her hips moved with such ease. When she moved her hips even lower, he held back a groan and reminded himself to keep himself in check. He had a feeling that that was going to be quite difficult and he needed to remind himself of the fact that he was supposed to be getting a haircut soon. “So much better than a haircut,” he muttered, eyes still locked on her body.

Pansy still had her back to him, but she heard him mutter about it being better than a haircut. She smirked and glanced at him over her shoulder, winking playfully as she rolled her hips and traced her hand over her arse and up her side. Turning to face him finally, she took a few steps toward him, swaying her hips side to side. Without warning, she dropped toward the ground, crouching in front of him with a grin as she pushed her knees apart, spreading her legs out to the sides. Slowly she got up, taking the final few steps to stand right in front of him, rolling her hips as she lifted a leg, resting her knee on his thigh and rolling her hips forward against his chest. Her hands rested first on his shoulders, moving a moment later to his hair. Lowering herself to straddle one of his legs, she continued the motion of her hips as she captured his lips in an instantly passionate and demanding kiss, pulling away far sooner than she knows he would have liked. She lifted a foot, putting it on the bit of chair that was visible right between his legs. Her eyes locked on his, she pushed back one shoulder of his jacket, revealing the lacy strap of a bra that matched the little underwear-shorts she had on. Letting the other shoulder fall back, she allowed the jacket to fall to her elbows, having some intense eye sex with Scorpius as she did so, regardless of where his eyes might be wandering.