The Old Snupin Potions Room

Remus didn't turn around. "I know Sev. Thank you, and..." He brought a hand up to his head holding it it hurt so badly. "Please, stop being so hard on yourself. You deserve better than that." He left the room closing the door gently behind him.

Severus stood there in silence a moment, before grabbing his bag and leaving himself. He needed to get out of that room- there were far too many memories inside.

[just because this seems like the only good room to use right now...and if some of this doesn't make sense it's because it's 2:20a.m. and I can't see straight hahahahah...]

Remus entered the room making sure there was no one inside before he shut the door. He slid down the closed door and curled up resting his head on his knees. How many times have I told myself to fucking finish this? And here I am thinking about it all again... It's all because of that stupid game. Everything would have been just fine if I hadn't agreed to participate. Would it have though? Or would he just keep coming back to this? These thoughts that messed with his head so much. Why wasn't he stronger?
The feeling of Sev's lips against his came floating back...Come on Lupin you're smarter than this. You're stronger. You know what you want and this time you're not letting her go. You need to resolve this, get it over with once and for god damn all. Tell him that he's to never pull that shit again. What was he thinking?! Remus leaned back against the door and tilted his head up to look at the ceiling.
"Alright Lupin if you don't end this once and for all you may as well just give up. And you've stopped giving up haven't you?" He felt silly talking to the empty room but he already talked to himself in his head he may as well talk to himself out loud. What it boiled down to was: Hermione or Severus? In the end that's how it would be. He knew what his answer was, always knew what it would be, he just needed to set it permanently in his head. There would be no more excuses, no more slip ups. All this nonsense of him always returning to thoughts of Severus, like he was a drug and Remus was addicted, had to stop. He needed to become 'clean' so to speak. Remus laughed at the idea of going to a rehab because you needed to get over a person and not drugs or drinking. It was ridiculous...but really, that's what this seemed like right? Like he was addicted to Sev. It wasn't love that kept him coming back in his thoughts and feelings, not anymore...was it? No. He didn't have those sorts of feelings for Severus anymore. Lust not love. That's all it was. All it was.
So now what did he do? He had to make sure Severus would not try and pull anything like that ever again. And Hermione, he needed to find her and make sure she was alright. He had to let her know, if he hadn't already done it enough times that she was annoyed with him by now, that nothing was tearing him away from her now. He loved her, Merlin he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, and he was willing now to work through anything, any problem, just so they'd never be separated like before ever again. Yes he'd been hurt several times by her drinking problem but he was not going to hold it against her. He was going to continue doing the best he could to support her as she solved her problem. It was all he could do for now, be there and offer his support. She would handle it and he trusted her to let him know if she needed help.
Remus pushed himself up off the floor taking a look around the room. There were so many memories here some pleasant some...not so pleasant. The memories of all the times with Severus flowed through him. He remembered fondly the fun and happy times when they'd just been talking and messing around, then there were the sad times when one or the other of them had been upset or they'd yelled at each other...and then the feeling of comfort at being in each others arms. Remus thought of all these memories then let them go. He wasn't going to let everything be remembered as bad times, there had been good times as well, but now he couldn't hold on to these thoughts, these memories, anymore. He was done, finally, officially, moved on. And that's the way it is supposed to be. I'm sorry Severus. I'm sorry, but I'm not the one who will show you that there IS love in the world, real actual love, but believe me it's out there. And by Merlin I hope you see someday that you aren't all that bad. No one else is making you think or act the way you do, it's all you. So please stop telling yourself that you're so horrible.
He let out a big sigh, feeling as if a weight had been taken off his shoulders, and left the room shutting the door behind him.

[*cuddles* now go sleep! XX]

[*sobs* I CAAAAN'T!!!! *is coming up with ways to prove my undying love to Herms* I have a project I still have to work on....but at least my classes are done by 11a.m. so I can come back and go to sleep]

Remus Lupin wrote:[*sobs* I CAAAAN'T!!!! *is coming up with ways to prove my undying love to Herms* I have a project I still have to work on....but at least my classes are done by 11a.m. so I can come back and go to sleep]

[aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwww if you did something really romantic I bet she'd totally sleep with you again. Good luck with your project *is considering calling in sick to work tomorrow because she can't be arsed*]

[Crap...I'm not very good at coming up with the whole romantic stuff...what should I DO?!!!!!!!! Well you'd get to sleep in right? and thanks :3 *hard to remember how to use Microsoft excel when you're falling asleep*]

Remus Lupin wrote:[Crap...I'm not very good at coming up with the whole romantic stuff...what should I DO?!!!!!!!! Well you'd get to sleep in right? and thanks :3 *hard to remember how to use Microsoft excel when you're falling asleep*]

[you'll have to think of something to surprise her. but keep it simple - she'd hate a big fuss! well I work 12-4pm tomorrow, but I think my 4pm is like 1am to you, which means I'd miss all the prime times for fun on here... oooh I hate excel sometimes - I have this awesome manual for it at work for whenever I have to do anything on excel, otherwise I'm screwed! ]

[hmm...I'll come up with something. I wonder what my friend would say if I asked him what would be a nice, but simple, surprise thing to do for a girl? He'd probably get really confused...though only if I tell him it's so that my character can sleep with his girlfriend. LOL *dies* Excel is...strange. I've used it before but still not the best at it. well I dumped Remus off in his dorm, I'm going to head off now so I can concentrate on my work. talk to you later!!! *hugs*]

Remus Lupin wrote:[hmm...I'll come up with something. I wonder what my friend would say if I asked him what would be a nice, but simple, surprise thing to do for a girl? He'd probably get really confused...though only if I tell him it's so that my character can sleep with his girlfriend. LOL *dies* Excel is...strange. I've used it before but still not the best at it. well I dumped Remus off in his dorm, I'm going to head off now so I can concentrate on my work. talk to you later!!! *hugs*]

[good luck on both counts night XX]

Severus wanders into a familiar empty classroom and sits down on the couch, propping open a book and reading, thinking naughty things about Antonin who should you know totally talk to Snape tonight if Amethyst is on, Eowyn will be on for the night around 6:30!

[Where exactly is this conversation going to be heading by the way? Just wondering *flails* And I'll definitely try to be on tonight!! As long as our stupid internet stops going off.]

Remus has some studying to do, wow how original, and since, for once, he doesn't feel like sitting in the library for hours on end, he's wandering about to find somewhere else to study. He wanders into a familiar room and heads over to a table, not noticing the room's other occupant. Tripping on a chair leg, one of his books falls to the floor. He reaches down to pick it up and accidentally bangs his head on the table. "Ow...damn it." How clumsy of him. I had to do it. I had to.

[I have NO bloody idea. *misses Remus and will probably end up projecting that onto Snape* *sigh*]

Severus looks up, mildly irritated that his quiet, empty room had been disturbed, and is surprised to see Remus, though he is completely unsurprised to see Remus trip, fall, and hit his head. A small fleeting smile crosses his face as he briefly reminisced some old times, but it quickly faded, as reality set in again. Still, he wasn't going to leave the poor guy on the floor, and he stood up, offering his hand to Remus to help him up. "You'd think you'd have learned to be more careful by now, Remus," he said shortly, but not particularly unkindly. Eowyn can't be mean to Remus when she misses him.

Remus startles and looks up, slightly pink in the face. "OH. You startled me. I didn't see you..." He must have been distracted, because normally he can tell if there's someone else in the room or not. Amethyst doesn't want to make this awkward because she misses Eowyn lots. Remus didn't want to be rude, so he took Severus' hand and got up. "Thank you. I'm sorry for disturbing you."

"It's fine. I wasn't doing anything of particular significance anyway," he said, because Eowyn never does anything of significance with him these days, other than Pansy, anyway. He quickly let go of Remus' hand, not trying to make this any more awkward than it already was. "Feel free to stay. I won't be a bother," he said politely, walking back to his seat on the couch and opening his book, trying to focus again but finding himself unable to do so. "How are you?" he blurted out, unable to stop himself. He may not love him anymore, but he did still care, to some extent.

Remus wondered if he should go anyways...but it wasn't like anything was going to happen. So he'd stay for a while. He picked his book up, careful not to hit his head this time, and sat down at the table. Opening one of the books, he tried to concentrate on the material but was interrupted by Severus' question. It sort of surprised him. "Me? I'm good. A lot has been going on and I don't think I'm up to date on about half the things that go on around here anymore, but I'm good." He bit his lip, thinking to himself. He really hadn't been keeping up with a lot of his friends. That was something he'd have to get caught up on later. "How are you doing?" And he wasn't just asking to be polite; he really did want to know.

Eowyn should really stop staring at your avatar, she should. She is always staring at Remus' avatars. Severus shrugged, and smiled a little at Remus. "Better, I guess, since I dumped Lily. Boring, really, for the most part, though," he said, somewhat glad Remus was sitting far enough away that he wouldn't smell the alcohol on his breath, and even more glad that he hadn't drunk anything yet today. He couldn't imagine any meeting with Remus going well while he was drunk.

Amethyst has plenty more awesome avatars for Remus. This one makes her giggle. She's looking forward to all the yummy kissing one's she's going to use for 2.0. And Remus is glad that he can't tell Severus was drinking, because then this meeting would be sad and not fun at all. OMG YAY IT'S THUNDERING AND RAINING A LOT!
Remus tilts his head in confusion. Which is an adorable canine like gesture...which he will be using a bit in 2.0. Along with a whole bunch of other adorable canine-like references that'll be irresistible. Be prepared. "I didn't know you and Lily weren't together anymore...Merlin, I don't know who hardly anyone's with anymore." He won't ask why he broke up with Lily, because that may make things awkward. Who knows.

Severus shrugged. "I don't really pay much attention to that anyway- you know that never mattered to me," he said, not quite realizing the double entendre there. Yeah. Eowyn didn't realize it either until she reread that. Hehehe. "I broke up with her a while ago. She wasn't worth it. She's not the girl she used to be, and I'm better off without someone trying to control my every move. Don't know how you do it, I can't imagine Hermione being the relaxed, loose type of woman. I'd never be able to put up with a woman like that, so controlling- then again, to each their own, I suppose," he said nonchalantly, silently thinking that perhaps this would have been a lot easier if he'd had some whiskey before this.

Hahahahahaha! Remus will ignore that to skip the awkward that could ensue. But Amethyst found that hilarious and now can't take a sip of her drink because she's laughing. Oh well. "I haven't seen Lily in ages, didn't know she'd changed so much." Remus shrugged. "Hermione's not really controlling...I'm just whipped. Though those hormones...Merlin, I thought I'd be changing furniture colors for months." He banged his head lightly on the table top. "Glad that's over with."

Severus smiled slightly, looking up at Remus. "Hence why I never intend on having children, even if I do ever settle down- which seems more and more unlikely every day," he said with a snort of laughter, given the many sexual encounters I've had that I really ought to write sometime, but I keep putting it all off. Severus debated whether or not he really wanted to hear the answer to the next question, it was more than a small sore spot for him, but he felt it would be impolite not to ask. "How is- how is your baby?" he said, realizing he didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl.


I GOTTA GO SOON SORRY I'LL BE BACK AT 6:30PM EST

[Okies!!!! We shall pause and continue later!!! *flailhugs* I LOVE YOU LOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Remus can't help but smile whenever someone asks how Kiora's doing. He just loves her so much. "She's doing fine. She's a lot like me, well, not all like me. In some aspects she is. But in some ways she really isn't. Which is good because I wouldn't want her to be totally like me. The hair though...why like mine? It really isn't that great, honestly." He should kick himself for rambling on so much. "She really needs to be more vocal; she's a bit too quiet. Except for some times she's really loud, but I'm not around then and I feel bad because there really isn't anything I can do about it. I just have to wait till I can come back. She waits for me, it's really adorable." Maybe he should hit his head on the table again, why's he going on about this? "But she's so tired then and looks kind of sickly. It worries me. But there's nothing I can fucking do about it...OH." He looks down, embarrassed. "Sorry about that. I sort of just kept going on didn't I? Well, anyway. Kiora's adorable and hopefully she'll love books like her mum and I. Because poor Hermione doesn't know what to do with her if she grows up to be totally girly and obsessed with boys, clothes, and make up."

Severus stares at Remus, then laughs, unable to suppress a genuine smile at him; he doesn't smile like that too often these days. "I like it when you're like this. It means you're happy," he said, mostly to himself. "Your hair is fine, Remus, really. And I don't think you need to worry about that- I have a difficult time imagining that any daughter of yours could be anything like that. If she's anything like you, she'll be alright," he said quietly, looking up at him again, the smile lingering on his face.

Remus flails and then they have an awesometastical snog.


















































HAHAHAHAHA.
JUST KIDDING.
That has to wait until 2.0.

Here's my real reply:

Remus can't help but smile back. He was glad to see Severus smile and hear him laugh. "Thanks, Severus. It's just worrying, you know? I mean, she's not a werewolf, thank god, but she's still affected by my transformations and the first time we went through all that...eh. It'll get better." He didn't want to get into any details. It was weird to talk about. "So...what are you reading?"