Wolfstar thing...SAD.

Yeah...this is sad. I cried while writing it.
Here ya go:

“There’s nothing you can do…nothing…he’s gone.”

Even as I spoke those words to the boy, I knew I was also saying them to myself. There really wasn’t anything anyone could do.

I’d seen it happen - watched as the life left his eyes - watched as his lifeless body disappeared.

He’s gone.

The rest of that night is a blur now. I remember bits and pieces more vivid than the rest, but none as vivid as that moment.


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He was my best friend, the closest friend I had and would ever have. He understood me like no one else.

I have to be strong these next few days. For Harry, for everyone else, and for myself.

But I just want to leave. Go back to his house, his room – where we spent so much time together these past months. Talking. Making up for the 12 years we’d lost…remembering the past, our years at school…

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I am to leave now. I’ve been given a job to do, and hopefully it will help take my mind off this.

We saw Harry off at the train station, watched him go back to those horrid relatives of his. We’ll get him soon.

He’s putting up a brave front. It’s obvious he’s upset – he’s just lost his godfather after all – and his friends are doing their best to comfort him.

I’m jealous. There is so much hurt and rage in me right now but I can’t show it. I won’t have people trying to comfort me.

Besides, the only person I want to see, the only person who can comfort me when I’m this upset,

Is gone.

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Spending several months with my own kind, a constant reminder of the worst thing I hate about myself, is not a comforting thought.

It reminds me of all the times, after a full moon, during our school years, when he would sit with me. We would just sit and talk and he would tell me that it wasn’t me when the wolf was there. It wasn’t me. That it was never my fault when something went wrong during those nights.

I felt better then. Never would I fully believe him, no, my mind just couldn’t get around the idea that it wasn’t entirely all my fault but, when he told me these things, it made it easier to.

He was a definite source of comfort for me, and he gave me strength.

I can only hope I provided the same for him.

Now I can never ask.

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I have several weeks until I get there. I’m hoping that everything will go well.

He is on my mind constantly. The sadness I feel is still as great as that night, but I still will not give in to tears.

Merlin, I miss him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s probably a mistake, stopping here, but I can’t help it.

There’s no one else here and I get in easily. It’s quiet and dark – the lights aren’t lit. Kreacher must be hiding somewhere. I know my way around the place well, but, none the less, I use my wand to light the way up the stairs.

His door is shut but not locked. I open the door slowly, quietly entering the familiar room. The room’s slightly messy, and I smile because it’s a comforting sight to see. His bed is unmade and I sit on it, moving some of the blankets out of the way. There’s a corner of something, a picture perhaps, poking out from behind a pillow. I wouldn’t normally pry and look at other peoples’ possessions, but curiosity gets the better of me.

It is a picture. My stomach twists uncomfortably and my heart hurts as I look at it.

It’s us, from either sixth or seventh year. I’m sitting on a couch in the common room and he’s trying to pry the book I’m reading from my hands. We both look annoyed.

I start laughing. That picture…it was a familiar scene when it came to our relationship. Tears start flowing from my eyes as I laugh; I’m clutching the picture to my chest, then my laughter is cut off by a loud sob. Crying turns to sobbing, I howl piteously into the darkened room.

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It feels like forever until the sobs subside. I am drained, unable to move. It’s late and I must continue my travel tomorrow.

I lay down, pulling the blankets up, still clutching the picture in my hand.

Everything in here reminds me of him. The pillows even still smell of the shampoo he used.
I shouldn’t have came here, shouldn’t have surrounded myself with so many things that remind me of him.

It’s too late now.

He’s gone. He’s gone.

I keep telling myself this until I fall asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I woke up I felt better. The sadness was still there; it will always be there, but I felt like I can handle it now.

I drew strength from that room, from his lingering presence. He was my pillar of strength while he was still alive, and I will continue to draw on that strength still today.

I will live for the both of us now.

I will never forget him.

My best friend, who I loved.

nuuuuuuuuuuuuu *sobs*

That was so good, and so sad.
*goes off to cry*

I'm crying.

That is all.

My inner Sirius is crying too.

*cuddles everyone and cries together*

Holy fuck this is soooo sad. OMG I'm tearing up. But I want to read more.

-also cries-
Aww
That's so sad!
I just read the link you sent me too.
The long one.
-tears up again-