PB&J IS AWESOME

Ch 1
Well shit, Pansy Parkinson thought, looking around at the Hogwarts grounds. The first difference she’d seen was the Whomping Willow, sitting complacently across the giant lawn. It looked younger, less gnarled and old. The next thing she’d noticed was the lack of students on the grounds. She knew for a fact that she had only tried to go back a few hours, when a lot of the sixth and seventh year students would be having a free period. But there was no one to be seen on the grounds.
Had she screwed up and gone back an extra hour? She looked down at the Time Turner in her hands, hoping it would have some answers. It didn’t, so she chucked it to the ground and started toward the castle. Just how far back had she gone? She’d only turned it a couple times, hoping to catch Draco in the one free period they didn’t share…
The castle was just as discouraging. The paintings were all different, in different places and looking younger. Had they just been cleaned and put back improperly? Pansy had skipped class today, so it was possible she’d missed a little spring cleaning… in the fall.
“Young lady, aren’t you supposed to be in class right now?” one asked sharply, leaning forward in the frame and looking over his glasses. Pansy jumped and stepped backward, then glared at the portrait.
“Mind your own business,” she shot back. The portrait shrugged and leaned back into the comfy armchair it had been painted in. Pansy glared at it half a second more, then started back into the hallway, intending to make her way to the Slytherin common room. This was starting to get a little disconcerting.
“Watch where you’re going,” she heard someone say, just as she backed into them. She spun around, fully intended to kick their ass, and saw a tall Gryffindor with messy black hair and glasses. He was sneering at her so intensely she almost thought he was a Slytherin. His tie was definitely red and gold, though. And that alone made her instantly hate his guts. She smirked and folded her arms in front of her chest.
“You’d better watch yourself if you plan on keeping your reproductive anatomy,” she retorted. She’d never seen this Gryffindor before, but she didn’t mind. It was enough to be yelling at someone. She didn’t have to know him for that.
The Gryffindor had been walking away, but stopped, spun around, and walked back when he heard her. He was taller than her, Pansy realized. Not quite towering, but tall enough to be intimidating. “Listen, I don’t know who you think you are, but I’m James Potter and I seriously doubt you want to mess with me.”
Pansy froze. Potter? She thought back to the Time Turner, laying somewhere on the grounds. Just what point in time did it bring her to? James Potter… the Potter brat’s dad was pureblood, wasn’t he? This one could be any kind of relation. But she knew for a fact there was only one Potter at Hogwarts, so something had definitely gone terribly wrong.
It was a moment before she could get her feet to move, and “James Potter” or whoever was now long gone. Would it still be a good idea to go to the Slytherin dorm? Draco and Blaise almost definitely wouldn’t be there, nor Daphne or Millicent. Who would be there? Suddenly a terrible thought flashed through her head: What if she couldn’t get back? Where would she live? She didn’t belong in this time, at her present age. It was fine if you only went back a few hours, and made sure you never saw yourself. This was different. She was in a completely different time, and she had no clue what to do. She still decided to go to the common room.
If Pansy were the type to be scared, the walk to the common room would have unnerved her. Paintings kept looking at her, which only served to remind her she didn’t belong there. Even the suits of armor seemed to stare at her, which was just preposterous. She finally made it, though, and promptly realized she didn’t know the password. “Er, Pureblood?” she said hesitantly, seriously doubting it was the password. The wall didn’t budge. She’d just have to wait for someone else to come along, which could take a while.
She paced. What went wrong? It hadn’t been too hard to swipe the time turner off McGonagall’s desk the last time she was in there, and she’d kept it safely hidden away so nothing could have happened to it. Was something wrong with it in the first place? She shook her head and kept walking, turning every few yards.
Her thoughts were cut short by footsteps ringing on the stone floor. Finally, someone to let her into the dorm. Her relief quickly turned into horror, however, when she saw a younger version of Draco Malfoy’s mother turn the corner. She was definitely WAY out of her time.
She waited in the shadows for a moment, as soon as she heard Narcissa say the password, “Veritaserum.” Pansy waited a few moments, then said the password and walked into the common room confidently. It was full of people she recognized, but not in the good way. She looked around at all the familiar faces, and froze when she got to Snape. This was a bad bad BAD idea. She quickly backed out of the dorm and ran down the hall, trying to forget seeing her Head of House eating Chocolate Frogs in the corner.
Pansy had never liked Dumbledore, the doddering old fool who pretended to be Headmaster. But she had to admit the man was smart. She ran straight to his office, cycled through all of the candies she knew of (it had to be candy. She’d seen a note in the hall once from the Potter brat telling one of his friends about it) until she got to “Acid Pop,” and then she ran up the stairs.
“Headmaster, you’ve got to help me,” she blurted out as soon as she got to the top and pushed the door open. Dumbledore smiled benignly at her.
“As headmaster,” he said, “I believe it is my job to help students. What do you need?”
Pansy paced as she told him about the time turner, modifying the story a little so she had found the thing and accidentally got sent back. She told him she didn’t have a place to stay, and needed to take classes, whatever to keep her here at Hogwarts where she belonged until she found a way to get back. Dumbledore listened to the whole thing, one eyebrow raised inquisitively. Ten minutes later, Pansy was walking out the door with a bag full of books and school supplies, a note that said she was a transfer student, and a promise that Albus Dumbledore would fix it. She stared at the door for a moment after he closed it, then blinked and shrugged and started back to the Slytherin dorm. Classes were done for the day, and hopefully she’d be able to hide away in her new dorm for a while.
Not so. The minute she stepped out of the staircase and into the hallway she saw a group of students walking towards her. There were four of them, and she realized with a jolt she recognized two of them. There was the James Potter annoyance she met in the hall, and a young Professor Lupin. The short blonde boy looked vaguely familiar, and the tall black haired boy seemed sort of familiar too, but she couldn’t place either of them.
She may not have recognized the entire group, but the Potter irritation recognized her. He smirked and pulled out his wand. Pansy knew exactly what he was doing, the moment she saw him in the hallway. She fumbled for her want, searching for it in her pocket, up her sleeve, in her sock… She didn’t find it in an outer pocket of the bag until James Potter had already nonverbally cast “Diffindo” and sent everything in the bag to the floor.
“Good one, Prongs!”
“James! That was rude!”
“Oh shut up, Moonbeam. I met her earlier, and you should have heard her…”
“Do it again, James!”
The tall black haired boy immediately started laughing uproariously, the blonde haired boy starting clapping enthusiastically, and Professor Lupin frowned but said nothing. James was high-fiving the black haired boy – “Sirius” she heard – and telling them all about how rude she had been in the hallway, and how Slytherins were all the same when Pansy finally managed to fix her bag and get around the corner. She had her revenge, though. When James passed her, she pointed her wand behind her and exploded that fancy paper they were all poring over.
The password was still “Veritaserum,” the common room was still full of people she knew, and people asked question but she managed to fend them all off with the paper Dumbledore had given her. She was in a dorm with Narcissa Black and some girl named Miranda McNeil, and both of them accosted her in the common room.
Finally Pansy was up in the dorm, sitting on the bed, heaving a sigh because she knew around this time she would be down in the common room with Blaise, Draco, and the rest. Five minutes later, she was asleep, hand curled around an imaginary Time Turner.
 


.... yes?

*spazzes*
OMR OMR OMR OMR CHAPTER TWO. *can't wait for it, like, at all*

Dee Riddle is in love.

FUCK YEAH.

OOH! I like it! *claps enthusiastically* YAY PB&J!

I also like that Cissy was mentioned... makes me feel proud of myself...

I'm making the Marauders 7th year, and thus Cissy will be around. So yay!

YES! *is really anxious now even though she already was before*

OMR!!! I LOVE IT! *flails* And I laughed really loudly when I saw 'Moonbeam' xD Can't wait for chapter 2!

*flails* That's awesome! Can't wait to read more!

-hugs everyone-
IT'S SO EXCITING, IS IT NOT?

...How did I not see this before? Hmm. Anyways, this is amazing James! I know you posted this forever ago and you've probably forgotten all about it by now, but I'd love to read more. Maybe... now that you're on break and whatnot you can continue working on it?

I GOTTA FRIGGIN WRITE MORE OF THIS I MEAN JEEZ IT'S ONLY THE COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD EVER.